Which Is Most Shocking?

Apparently, Pluto is no longer classified as a planet, because it "couldn't dominate its orbit around the Sun in the same way as the other planets." Yeah, I have no idea what that means either. It sounds slightly similar to erectile dysfunction to me, which makes me want to point at Pluto and giggle. Now I'm left imagining the Disney dog wearing a gimp mask and sporting a limp penis, which makes me want to giggle even harder, and vomit a little.

In other shocking news, Plan-B (commonly known as the Morning-After Pill) will be available over the counter. Unless you're under the age of 18, in which case you'll need a prescription and parent's notification. Yeah, because that's going to happen. So, while I'm shocked as hell that we're actually allowing Plan-B in pharmacies, I'm equally shocked that Anne Coulter hasn't been all over the media ranting, raving, and screaming about this development. Oh yeah, nevermind... I forgot that Anne Coulter "allegedly" has a penis, and thus doesn't need to worry about Plan-B. (Note: by "allegedly" I mean "absolutely," but don't want to be sued, so we'll stick with "allegedly.")