Monday, July 31, 2006

Help Send a Little Love

One of my friends from the University of Plymouth needs people to do his online survey for one of his courses. I thought I'd be nice and post the link to the survey on my blog, just in case any of you are nice enough to be willing to take the time and help a brother out. He says the survey takes about 25-30 minutes to complete.

He needs responses from different nationalities, so feel free to do the survey from wherever you may live.

Survey is here.

Friday, July 28, 2006


I just ran over to the administration building to pick up my paycheck, and found myself sweating five steps out the door of the library. Sometimes, it's actually a detriment to work in an overly air conditioned office all day, especially when it's hotter outside than snorting napalm off Paris Hilton's ass.

In disheartening news, my trip back was ruined by A) a paycheck much smaller than I remember from last summer, and B) tar laid a week ago getting so warm and gooey that it's currently relocated to the bottom of my flip flops. Ugh... complete with little pebbles everywhere. My shoes look like the bottom of an aquarium now.

Mouthpiece of God

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out who's the worse PR agent for God; the deranged Shirly Phelps of Westboro Baptist, or Fox New's reporter. Seriously, Phelps is a total whack-job piece of shite, but since when does quoting scripture on the air fit into journalistic integrity? You've also gotta love the reporter's clever way of alluding to the word "bullshit" without actually saying it. Was that for FCC purposes, or to save face with the G.O.D.?

Watch this if you want to be super-model svelte, but prefer to avoid the unsightly finger stains of gagging yourself.

26-7-06 Comics

This was supposed to be another cheap week in comics. I'd gone in to get the new 52, and the new Morrison arc of Batman. Unfortunately, Batman sold out 1 hour after being placed on the shelf. Now, I've got to wait for a 2nd print, which really chafes like wet leather trousers. I ended up finding a few comics I wanted though, and got more of the 52 back issues.

Eternals #2
I was supposed to get this last week, but due to a shipping error, my store didn't get any of their copies. I was actually kind of glad it came this week, because it gave me somthing really good to read. While I'm not really digging the artwork (though it is growing on me), I LOVE LOVE LOVE the story on this.
Things get super crazy in this issue, when a party gets very out of hand, and an Eternal is being tortured by an unknown group. I'd love to share more about this comic, but don't want to spoil it for Rui, who won't get it for a little while.

52: Week 12
We learn more about Black Adam in this story, which is good. For some reason, I really had no idea who the hell he was, or why he was suddenly on the scene. Here, I learned how he'd been bestowed with powers in the same way that Captain Marvel had, and even been imprisoned for a thousand years by the wizard.
Also in this issue, we see one seriously messed up Billy/Cap'n Marvel, and the birth of a goddess. Ancient Egyptian goddesses are hot. It'll be interesting to see what happens with the newly reincarnated (?) Isis, and how her change will affect Black Adam becoming a good man.

Civil War #3: Incentive Turner Variant Cover
I know I already had a copy of this comic, and gave it a glowing review last week, but I was still excited to find and purchase this variant cover version of the comic.
What made buying this variant cover even better was talking about it with Rui the next day. It seems that the variant cover I picked up for $3 is selling for more than $20 online right now.

You'll Pay For It Later

Lots of booze, lots of incredible friends, lots of laughs, lots of hugs and kissed, lots of pictures taken, and lots of karaoke...

last night was the best time I've had in a really long time. There's something about capping off the evening singing Ike and Tina Turner's version of "Proud Mary" with friends while a drag queen does the Tina Turner dance in the background. It was magical.

Getting to bed after 3am, and showing up to work about 2 hours later than you intended? Not so much.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Sorry Mr. Quasi-Boss Man...

but that lyric from Belle and Sebastian you just misheard was

until she comes back again


until shit comes back again

...but thanks for playing.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Interesting Projects

I've actually had a few interesting projects come in at work lately. Usually, I get stuck converting boring lectures to streaming format, and wasting my skills, but things have been kind of fun the past few days.

First, I got a VHS copy of the original Patterson film. This is the most recognized piece of Bigfoot film ever recorded. I'm not going to comment on the validity of said film, but it was pretty cool to convert it to DVD, knowing that the Pattersons had it in their grubby hands.

Next, I got handed a video for a home self-catheterization device. Apparently, one of the departments here needs a digital copy of it. Gross, I know, but at least it's interesting. Also, the little label that says "We do not condone using saliva during the cateterization process" nearly made me wet myself.

Finally, I spent the last few hours going through old footage of the boxing club that existed on campus in the 1950s. Most of it was kind of boring, but the guys I was recording the footage for were intriguing. I also learned that there was a mentally handicapped man on campus during that time, who roamed the campus wearing a plastic sheriff's badge, and would "arrest" students. We also learned the boxing fraternity took him to parties and got him drunk, when they weren't pulling down each other's trousers. Looks like frat boys really haven't changed much.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Bright Life

I'll be out of town for a few days, so I'm trying to leave readers something to read while I'm gone. Thus, the tidalwave of posts this morning.

I've noticed that while I'm surfing the net, looking at people's blogs, photowhoring pages, video sites, etc., everybody else's lives seem to be infinitely more interesting than mine.

They're brighter than me, dress better than me, have better furniture than me, look better than me, go nicer places than me, have better musical tastes than me, love their families more than me, take better photos than me, are more creative than me, have more practical skills than me, give themselves better haircuts than I do, eat tastier foods than me, smell more oceans than me, see more concerts than me, buy more comics than me, hang out with friends more than me, have a more well-rounded Rolodex than me, are more organized than me, are more imaginative than me, taste better than me, are better in bed than me, write better than me, make better soap than me, VJ better than me, own more pets than me, knit more scarves than me, have better cars than me, see better movies than me, love viral videos more than me, know better sites on the internet than me, been to more foreign countries than me, have better vision than me, have straighter teeth than me, earn more money than me, dance better than me, know more famous people personally than me, are more politically active than me, are loved by Jesus more than me, drink finer alcohol than me, are more driven than me, have a bigger passion for life than me, have more interesting health maladies than me, know more bears than me, wear fancier underwear than me, kiss better than me, dated more supermodels than me, have nicer hair than me, talk on better mobile phones than me, fake British accents better than me, paint better than me, know more human anatomy than me, have more sex than me, get more financial aide than me, kill less plants than me, are more talkative than me, make better music than me, have newer laptops than me, tolerate heat better than me, have tasted more microbrews than me, are fancied more than me, laugh more than me, have less grey hairs than me, have better credit than me, sing better than me, sleep better than me, jump higher than me, are more tolerant than me, and burn hotter and brighter than me.

It's not that I'm down on myself, and I promise I'm not depressed. It's just an interesting trend I've noticed lately. I'm suppose those I quasi-envy all think the same thing about others when they see their sites.

So, dear readers, tell me what intesting things you've been up to. We'll all sit back and marvel at each other, and try to realize that nobody's lives are actually mediocre, except to ourselves.


He used to be so good. What happened?

I'm listening to his new album, and just heard him call himself "Louis Vuitton on a skateboard" or something rancid like that. It's the verbal equivalent of Herb, that creepy guy that lives down the street.

Gawd, he just made a long reference to MySpace in the same song!!

He's officially dead to me. Not much of a loss, because this album SUCKS!!

I want N.E.R.D. back, from their first album days.

I just found out about which is a new YouTube like site.

So, what's the draw of yet another viral video site? Why should you care? Two reasons:

1) They don't make you give up your copyright when you submit a video. YouTube basically screws you over, and anything you put on there is now official property of YouTube. Read the small print kiddies.

2) MONEY!!!! You make money off of your Revver videos. They attach a small commercial at the end of your video (so nobody has to actually watch it) and you make a small portion of money every time somebody watches the video. You can attach the video to your blog, MySpace page, or any other site you want... and still make money off of it! It's not like you'll be Donald Trump any time soon, but maybe your Johnny Depp spoof video will pay for a viewing of Pirates of the Caribbean.

19-7-06 Comics

I thought this was going to be a light week for comics, but somehow managed to come out of the comic store nearly 18 dollars lighter than when I'd entered.

I started collecting DC's 52 a few weeks ago, but had missed the first 8 issues. I got talking about it with my cousin-in-law, and she told me a deadbeat customer had the entire 52 series in his box, but due to his delinquency, they were all mine if I wanted. Of course, I jumped on it, just to help the store out. I'm buying a few back issues a week, until I've caught up.

That said, here's this week's comics (Due to shipping errors, no Eternals or X-Men Civil War this week):

52: Week 11 This series covers all 52 weeks of the year between Infinite Crisis and One-Year Later. At first, I wasn't sure where the series was headed, so I didn't pay much attention. Now, I'm really starting to enjoy where it's headed. This week featured the first offical appearance of a very Lipstick-Lesbian Batwoman. I'm interested to see what happens with the faceless man, and how he fits in with the bigger picture.
Just as a side note, I hate how mainstream society is okay with the gays, as long as they're lipstick lesbians. Those are the trendy, athletic, supermodelesque lesbians that don't scream "dyke." Kudos to DC for adding some diversity, but must they be lipstick lesbians? Batwoman would have been hot with a mullet.

Justice League of America #0 Number 0?!? This comic sets up the new series of JLA, which starts off next month. Due to the events of Infinite Crisis, and One Year Later, this story picks up parts of the past, present, and future of the JLA. Honestly, it was kind of confusing, because it jumps all over the timeline, a la Quentin Tarantino, but without the narative skill. There's also a different artist for almost every other page, which is visually interesting, but also a bit frustrating. The one thing I liked about this comic was how it outlined the weird tension (sexual?) between Batman, Supes, and Wonder Woman. It also showed that they're going to rebuild the JLA, and have to pick new members in the next issue. I'm stoked to see who they pick.

Civil War #3 I definitely saved the best for last. If you're not really into comics, or trying to get into comics, pick up the Civil War series. *hint hint, Derek* It's exactly what a good comic should be. One hell of a fantastic story line, incredible art work, and people in spandex fighting each other. What more can a boy ask for?
This issue follows the fight between Tony Stark (AKA Iron Man, AKA Uber Douche) and my hero, Captain America. This time the fight gets personal, with Stark and Cap going toe-to-toe in an actual fight. And just when you think things can't get worse, a surprise appearance at the end really messes things up. I can't wait for #4.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Something Worse Than MySpace...

...when WalMart (whom I vehemently despise) tries to have their own uber-cool MySpace ripoff called "The Hub."

Wow, this is sad. You'll have to read the article to fully appreciate how lame WalMart really is. If WalMart was a young woman, would it be a faghag, or is that giving them too much credit?

Perhaps WalMart should start giving their marketing team some of the profits they reap by raping (their employees... without lube of course) and pillaging (smaller communities) their way across Amurika.

Hat Tip: Chris Glass

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Awful Music

When doing corporate video work, you often times have to find music to go under the video. It's one part of the process that drives me crazy. You'll listen to awful music for about an hour, to finally find a song that's only marginally craptastic.

Today's search yielded one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Click here to be tortured.

Guy pointed out that although labeled as a "kids song" it was surely created with porn in mind.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Superbland Returns

This is one of those blog entries that I'm sure I'll get lambasted for, but I'm going to go ahead and do it.

I watched Superman Returns yesterday, and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't impressed. I certainly wouldn't go as far as the obsessed fan in Entertainment Weekly that called it "perfection on film." I'd be more apt to refer to it as "another crap Singer film."

It wasn't that the film was bad, it's just that it wasn't good. The sappy, over the top emotional scenes made me want to vomit. The expository dialogue was trite and forced, and basically not how anyone would ever talk, unless Brian Singer was in their brains. (Did I mention that I don't like Singer?) I honestly got bored at a few points, and I'm the guy that gushes about the 2-hour Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring Again where nothing happens for 2 hours! While some of the special effects were amazing, there were some total crap ones, and I'm beyond underwhelmed with special effects just for special effects sake.

Other rants: Superman's costume was ugly: the cape looked like a red Hefty garbage sack, his boots looked like chunky/tacky Sketchers from 10 years ago, and the logo looked like something from a REI catalogue made of new waterproof material. Lex Luthor's character got neutered somewhere along the lines, though that's Singer's fault, not Spacey's. Luthor, who should personify class, dignity, intelligence, and wealth, lacked all of those traits. He was now a bumbling buffoon that seduced old women for their money, and led a nondescript pack of non-threatening rogues. Parker Posey and Kal Penn's talents went unused. Penn didn't even get any dialogue, for hell's sake! The climax of the film was lame. I was still waiting for the big final climax when the credits started to roll. Anytime I leave a film thinking, "that's it?" I know that I'm not going to be happy.

Ugh! I could go on and on, but that's not healthy.

Instead, I'll just end by saying that I blame each and every failure of the movie on Singer. He created a brilliant story for The Usual Suspects, but that was the only decent thing he's done in his career. The only director/writer I think is worse than him is George Lucas.

Announcing Sadie

Here's the puppy that's been taking up a lot of my time lately. She loves to play with her new brother Caesar, chew on her stuffed gorilla doll, and bite every finger/toe within a 50 foot radius. Sometimes she gets a bit wild, so I fondly refer to her as "Satan." She's not really evil, but she does have a Hitler mustache.

Did I mention she's cute as a button?

I want a puppy of my own now.

Sunday Morning Giggles

I knew that there was some seriously bad television on cable, but S found what has to be the absolute worst yesterday morning; some Jesusified kiddie-tv show about Grandma's House.

When watching her grandson walk in a stream in his tennis shoes, S commented that he'd have a nasty "boy smell." We then realized "boy smell" sounds almost exactly like "voice mail." Next time I hear someone say they need to check their voice mail, I know I'm going to giggle like a little girl at Grandma's House.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

12-7-06 Comics

Thanks to Rui, I am now officially a Nerd. I hope he feels good about himself. It's not bad enough that I really did have taped together glasses in 3rd grade, but now he's got me into comics again. However, since I realize I will be a nerd, I might as well use up some blog space and devote a weekly rundown to the comics.

I had thought one of the comic shop guys looked rather familiar, but couldn't quite place him. I finally heard his name yesterday, and realized he's my second cousin. Seems nerdiness is in the genes.

The Escapists: #1 Okay, the only reason I even sparked interest in this comic was because of the $1 price tag. I kind of figured I could cut it up later and use it in an art project, but I ended up being pleasantly surprised. This comic is based on a make-believe comic character created by fictional comic creators, based on a fiction novel by Michael Chambon. Confused yet? Yeah, me too. It's kind of like that movie Adaptation except there's no masturbating Nic Cage.

Hell, I can't explain it. Just buy it and read it your damn self. It's worth all 100 pennies.

100 Bullets #74 I've jumped into this comic extremely late (especially since there are only supposed to be 100 issues) but I'm really enjoying it already. Last month, I jumped into part 3 of a 4 part story arc, and was incredibly confused. Suddenly, at the end of this issue, so many things made sense. I'm falling in love with the gritty story telling, and the just as gritty art work.

I'm also collecting these for the cover art. I love the covers on this series, and would love to have prints in my apartment. And yes, I realize how lame that sounds.

Ghost Rider #1 Once again, the flame-headed biker of death is back, due to fans bitching and moaning. Well, that's what they try to tell us, but we all know it's really because there's a movie coming out next summer, starring Nic Cage. Ack! He's all over this entry!

This issue was pretty good, and featured incredible artwork. My only complaint is that Satan looks just like the Tim Curry evil guy in Legend. I'd have officially burned my copy if there had been a Tom Cruise look alike though.

Leaving the Ice Age

The AC is out at work today. This should be fun, since it's supposed to reach at least 90 degrees today. (32.2 C)

In recent weeks, I've been known to wear a sweater at work, because the AC is set to 60, and can't be changed here. I could cut glass with my nipples on a good day. Today, it's only 8am, and my pelt is becoming moist with sweat. It's going to be a long day.

Update: the AC kicked back in full force a while ago, and I'm now ready to go steal a large diamond from a museum, if you catch my meaning.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Fun Videos

I just saw a link for this fun video starring George W. Bush doing a cover of U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday. I'm amazed at the amount of editing work somebody went through, including the fact that they had to at least watch one of his boring speeches.

Note: in other sad news, I have now officially YouTubed my blog. *sigh*

The second video is Sexy Results (MSTRKRFT Version) by Death From Above 1979. This one's NSFW.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Movie Reviews

My 16-year-old niece called to let me know Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Blah Blah Overly Long Title was the best movie she'd seen in "forever."

Knowing that the last two films she loved were the bile-on-celluloid X-Men 3: Half-Assed Script and The Chronicles of Blah-nia, I had my doubts. Then, I saw actual reviews yesterday, including the best one from Michael Hartney:


Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest can take a big hot suck of my asshole.
Yeah, I'm waiting for the dollar theatre, or DVD.

I really need to get to SLC and start dragging her out to indie films again. This is appalling.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Foxxxy the Brave

Being a sound sleeper can have drawbacks, such as missing early morning hyjinks in the back yard.

Yesterday, at around 5 am, a baby skunk snuck into my parents' back yard looking for dog/cat food. My parents have been hounded by skunks all spring, but both the city animal control department and Idaho Fish and Game have refused to help with the situation. They were nice enough to offer traps to my father, as long as he brought them back smelling skunk free. How nice of them.

When the skunk snuck into the yard, it woke up my parents' foofoo pomeranian, Foxxxy. Okay, okay, the name is actually just Foxy (or just Fox, if you ask my dad) but it's so much more fun to make it pornographic in nature. Foxxxy actually looks remarkably like a super-sappy fox, and thus, the name stuck. Anyway, Foxxxy woke up, and started barking. This woke my parents, who decided to spray the skunk down the sidewalk with a hose. Hey, I don't understand their logic on that one either. As my father was hosing the baby skunk down the walk, Foxxxy got surprisingly butch, grabbed the skunk by the neck, and went Outkast on it (you know, shook it like a Polaroid picture.) Apparently, skunks weren't made for getting krunk, and it died.

I spent the afternoon trying to convince my parents that we should deliver the dead skunk to the mayor, but to no avail. Apparently, they don't find the beauty to passive-aggressive guerilla tactics that I do. We'll see if they change their tune when the next skunk sneaks into the yard.

Les Bois

It started Friday night, when I traveled to Boise with S & W. I'd forgotten how amazingly boring and ugly the trip to Boise is from Pocatello. If watching farms, rocks, and sagebrush is your idea of exciting, then I guess you'll enjoy the trip, but if you're like me, you'll be bored to tears. My "amazing" mix disc for the trip actually ended up being pretty crappy too. That's what I get for randomly grabbing songs for a playlist in iTunes.

Friday night was actually a lot of fun. We met up with some of S & W's friends in the Boise area, and went out for a bit. One interesting trend I've seen the past two weekends though, is that we keep meeting people with money, who have to emphasize how much money they have, and how much all of their possessions cost. I was also reminded that having money does not equal having class. The nouveau riche in Idaho and Utah just don't seem to realize that.

On Saturday morning, we were supposed to go see Superman Returns on the IMAX screen, but our plans got curtailed. One of the dogs at the house we stayed in decided it needed to attend with us, but got confused and ran away. Perhaps it was jonesing for Pirates of the Caribbean 2 instead. Either way, by the time we caught the dog and returned him to suburban entrapment, it was too late for super Supes. Damn.

The rest of the day was spent at the Farmers' Market in the city centre, eating incredible pizza, sipping a Starbucks, and picking up Sadie, aka "Cutest Puppy in the World." Sadie's a two-month-old beagle puppy with large, sad eyes, who enjoys snuggling and long walks in the grass. Then again, at her size, 20 feet (6.1 meters) is a long walk. If permitted, I'll try to get a pic of Sadie up on the blog.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Happy Kylie Minogue Workday Friday

Okay, it's not a real holiday, but I have half of my office convinced it is. I've been blasting Ultimate Kylie all morning. Yes, I really do work with people dumb enough to believe it. I just told them it was a UK holiday, and I was choosing to celebrate here.

In other news, I had an almond soy latte this morning. It was astoundingly awful. I'm not sure if it was because they only had the sugar-free/carb-free almond flavouring, or the fact that soy milk tastes like ass over here in the US. Either way, it was nasty. However, being the caffeine junkie I am, I slurped up every last drop.

I'm off to Boise for part of this weekend to see Superman on the IMAX, and to get S & W's new puppy. She's a little beagle, and one of the cutest things I've seen. I'm sure my impression will greatly change after 3 hours in a car with her, but for now, I'll still maintain that she's cute.