Saturday, December 30, 2006

Happy Birthday Rui!

Someone great turns 28!

Happy Birthday, Boobear! :*

Open Letter

I wrote this open letter in the diary section of Pam's House Blend. It's for Peter LaBarbera, who operates the Christian group Americans For Truth, though it could apply to any number of current Christian leaders (Evangelical, Catholic, Mormon, etc.)

Yes, perhaps it's a bit heavyhanded, but I'm a bit tired of this crap. I'm at the point where Stuart was (UK "Queer As Folk") when he blew up the mom's car. I just meant in mindset... not that I'm going to blow up a car. I just move electrons on monitors instead.

He's Hung Like A...

Saddam Hussein was executed early this morning (well, last night for some of us).

I'm still not really sure how I feel about it. Honestly, I worry that this is just opening a big Pandora's box. We're already seeing large numbers of people being killed in Iraq in protests and car bombings due to the incident. I know he was a bad man, but I think there were some other issues that hadn't quite been worked out yet, such as the trials involving the Kurds. I just feel this whole issue got rushed a little bit. I also worry about the PR situation America already has with the rest of the world, and how this is only going to make things worse.

I also wonder if we'll see the same for Bush, though I highly doubt it. He's not exactly spotless in this whole war situation. We've witnessed a laundry list of war crimes he's committed, and I think he'll get away with each and every one, never seeing any justice or accountability. Hell, I'll probably be detained and tortured very soon just for writing this. Such is life in the new Amurka.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Dr. Who, Reindeer, and Condoms

I watched the last two episodes of the season for Dr. Who tonight on the SciFi channel. It was actually much better than I thought it would be, and now I want to see all of the ones that build up to the climactic ending.

Tonight, Shane and I went to hand out condoms at the bar for work. We decided to make it more festive though, and dress Christmasy. Shane was an elf, and I was the hottest reindeer ever. i made brown cut-offs, wore a fur coat and hat, and had reindeer antlers. I also wore my Norwegian socks. Yeah, it was a little odd, but it was fun.

We handed out condoms at the bar, and then went around to neighboring bars. Neighboring bars aren't as nice, and people were rude. You'd have though we were handing out syphillis, instead of condoms. One guy told us he didn't want condoms because he was straight. Shane said he should use them, because Shane didn't want to pay for this guy's bastard children. Amen.

I'll try to get up a photo in the next few days, if I remember with all of the Christmas hullabaloo. I'll be headed to Salt Lake in the morning, and my nieces want to watch the first two seasons of Monarch of the Glen in three days. Phew!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

BBC in the USA

I just read that the BBC will start to offer their tv shows for legal download using Azureus's Zudeo bittorrenting software. There was no mention of pricing, but it did say that the files will be protected, so can only be used through Zudeo.

Some of the shows it mentioned include Dr. Who, Little Britain, League of Gentlemen, and Red Dwarf, all in High Def. If they added Monarch of the Glen, I'd be a very happy boy.

I surfed over the Zudeo and looked around a bit. It looks like all the stuff available on there right now is just film-school type stuff, almost like a classy YouTube. This should be an interesting developement though, and I'm excited to see where things are headed.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Attn: Dartford Slapper

I was doing some research about STIs this afternoon at work when I came across the following information, which negates Charlie's "1500 calories in semen" theory. Sorry, love.

A typical ejaculation fills up about one teaspoon; the actual amount is determined by a man's age (younger men usually make more semen), when he last ejaculated, and how long he's aroused before ejaculating, among other factors. Contrary to what you've heard, semen is not loaded with calories. Each teaspoon of ejaculate has about 5 - 7 calories and some 200 - 500 million sperm.

Band Names

Occasionally I like to make up fake band names, in case I ever go to Paris and somebody asks me if I'm a rock star. Hey, it happened to Jeffrey on Project Runway, so it could totally happen to me. Anway, I was thinking I should start chronicling them somehow, and what better way than the blog? Here are two that I came up with this morning:

    Chinchilla the Hun
    Shaking Babies and Kissing Hands
Yeah, I know they're lame, but then again Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, and My Chemical Romance are all currently popular bands.

You guys got any for me?

Monday, December 18, 2006

Christmas Cheer

The student union decided last week that food could only be purchased to the sounds of blasted crappy christmas music. It was so loud you couldn't even talk to people in the food court. So, being the antagonistic bastard I can be every now and then, and seeing as how I was bitchy from finals, I made sure to loudly voice my disdain. "Damn, this music doesn't make me feel very comfortable to be a Jew here at ISU!" I noticed it was only half as obnoxiously loud the next day.

Note: No, I'm not a Jew, despite the big nose and curly hair. I just despise having X-Mas shoved down my throat, like I'm Linda Lovelace in Deep Throat or something.

I'd Forgotten...

how good cold meat lover's Pizza Hut pizza can be. Thanks Mom, for bringing me the leftovers that Brit-brat and Rooster didn't eat.

PS - I may have turned them into Project Runway junkies during the weekend. Sorry.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Debauchery Debunked

I just got a phone call from my sister informing me that my planned weekend of high debauchery would now be altered. It looks as if I might have to spend some "quality time" with my nieces after some lovely Utah drama.

Apparently, the painter went apeshit and has demanded that my sister pay him an extra $17,000 by the end of the week, or he'd blow his brains out. Then my brother-in-law caught him outside the house around 11pm with a hoodie pulled over his face, near the master bedroom window. Then cops were called as the painter drove away. Then the car was back at 5:30am. Then deranged painter followed my brother-in-law to his office, and made veiled threats. Then a second police report was made, then a restraining order filed, then possibly security hired. *sigh* Just the phone call left me drained.

So, it looks like I'll be helping entertain the nieces while they're in Idaho for their safety. I'm just hoping nothing comes of this, but it really looks as if the painter owes somebody bad a lot of money. And I've seen Sopranos so I know what happens next.

Soy Is So Gay

This is probably one of the most unintentionally funny articles I've seen in a long time. Jim Rutz is claiming at WorldNetDaily that soy is making children gay. Here's a lovely quote:

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.
Ummm... I'm more interested in someone who can remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them. I'm pretty sure that's a more compelling story.

I'm amazed at the stupid logic that people go through in their minds. Here we have a pastor who buys organic food thinking he's some kind of authority on biochemistry. Impressive! Does this mean that because I went to Taco Bell for lunch that I'm an authority on Mexican domestic policy? Sure does, if I was in WND world!

hat tip: jimbo

Monday, December 11, 2006

Edit... D. F. A. Remix.... fressssshhhhhh......

That's a snippet from the DFA remix of Le Tigre's "Decepticon."

Rui's probably the only one that'll give two figs about this post, but I just discovered that DFA has released some Radio Mixes for download off the DFA Records site. This means you get some James Murphy/LCD Soundsystem and Tim Sweeny for free! Hooray! I still need to get the DFA Remixes Chapter Two album at some point in the future, but it'll have to wait for a bit.

I'm still downloading the Radio Mixes as I write this, so I can't give any reviews at this time. I'm still pretty stoked to throw it on the iPod though, since Christmas family time always necessitates iPod alone time. You can argue I should spend time with family. I can argue that it keeps me from lighting them on fire. What's a few hours with family compared to a few years in prison?

Size Matters?

I've been meaning to post about this story for days, but have been busy with getting ready for final exams and doing final projects. I about pissed myself laughing this afternoon when I realized the story's been on the BBC's top 5 most popular stories for four days now.

Condoms 'too big' for Indian men

Doctor Chander Puri, a specialist in reproductive health at the Indian Council of Medical Research, told the BBC there was an obvious need in India for custom-made condoms, as most of those currently on sale are too large.

The issue is serious because about one in every five times a condom is used in India it either falls off or tears, an extremely high failure rate.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Ol' Friends

I recently got back in touch with some friends I haven't had contact with in a while. It was my choice to be a silly git and not stay in contact, so part of me wonders how and why I made such a foolish decision.

Anyway, it was good to see that they welcomed me back with open arms and are really encouraging. It's something I need at this time.

Note: Too much of the UK version of Queer as Folk is making me use a lot of Brit-slang again. I'm sure listening to Lady Sovereign isn't helping any either.

Mobile Tumors

The BBC has a report about a Danish study claiming there is no link between mobile phone (cell phone) use and brain/neck tumors. Good news everyone, our annoying mobile phone habits aren't going to slowly kill us yet! Driving while talking is a whole other issue though, and yes, I'm guilty of this as well.

The researchers, from the Danish Institute of Cancer Epidemiology in Copenhagen, looked at data on people who had been using mobile phones from as far back as 1982.

More than 56,000 had been using a mobile phone for at least 10 years.

They found no evidence to suggest users had a higher risk of tumours in the brain, eye, or salivary gland, or leukaemia.
This does make me remember how paranoid Dimitris was about using his cell phone, and how he was convinced we were all going to get tumors. Don't worry Dimi, I'm sure we all will get some sort of cancerous tumors, but it's more likely to be from our iPods or some other technology now.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Presentation Redux

I was approached by a guy in the SU building this afternoon as I attempted to locate some lunch amongst the rubbish they usually display as edible goods. The guy had a serious look on his face, and he informed me that he had been in the class I gave the presentation in last week. He thanked me for speaking, but he stared way too long and much too intently for normal purposes. Yeah, I think he's a big ol' closet case.

Then, I found out he was sitting with the student group from my church that booted me out a few weeks ago. Apparently, he's really involved. I feel bad that I let it be known I'd recently been kicked out of my former church during the presentation, but then again, people should know that's what happens around here.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll have a "fun" few years in store for him. Too bad he couldn't just learn from my example now, and save himself many years of torment and inner turmoil.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Vietnam Saved My Grade

I never, ever, thought I would hear those words coming out of my mouth, but as of this morning, it's officially true.

I've been sweating bullets and peeing blood over my Visual Anthropology project I thought was due this Wednesday. I didn't know where I'd find the time or effort to finish the project on time, and I was worried this was really going to mess things up for me academically. I just can't be bothered with this project for some reason, even though I know it's really important. Definitely not good.

Today, I went to beg my professor for an extension, due to all the drama in my life the last few months. I'd heard that she's fairly lenient, but I was still really worried. Instead, I got to her office only to find out that she'd buggered off to Vietnam until the first of January, and that I have until the end of next week to finish the film. Thank gawd! Now, to just get my ass in gear and get this stupid thing done.

Hot Fuzz

The team behind the great romzomcom Shaun of the Dead have created a new film that will be coming out in a few months.

Hot Fuzz

Yeah, it's gonna be hawt. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are both in this one too. Hooray!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

My Trip To The Zoo

I dreamt this morning that I went to the zoo to see the animals. Things were going really well until I got to the hippopotamus cage. Once I got there, the hippos decided to put on a live sex show very similar to the one I watched in Amsterdam.

The hippos were really noisy about it too. Moaning, groaning, wailing and all sorts of carrying on. It was like a Pentecostal revival/hippo orgy.

Then I woke up, only to realize it was just my neighbors downstairs going at it. Yuck.


I had to give a presentation about the Genesis Project in the Licensed Practical Nurse class this afternoon in front of about 75 future LPNs.

The girls that invited me to speak were very nice and rather grateful to have me there. It's always nice to feel appreciated in your job. Heck, they even got me a $15 gift certificate to Applebees for my efforts. I told Shane I'd take him to dinner one night. I figure it's the least I can do after he helped me change my flat tire this afternoon.

Speaking in classes is really fun. I like pulling out the shocking statistics to watch their eyes get big. It's kind of like watching Anime without all of the screaming and weirdness. I made sure to get in a dig about how HJR-2 (the anti-gay marriage amendment) will actually hurt the economy as larger corporations shy away from states with those laws. I saw a few "oh crap, what did i vote for" looks on faces. The "oh crap" faces just got longer as I told them about how fighting against AIDS prevention now literally costs the government billions of dollars in the future. It's funny how people are a little more relaxed about "moral principles" when it directly affects their pocketbooks.

The only problem with the presentation was trying to get in about 1/2 hour or more worth of information in 10 minutes. I hope it wasn't like trying to drink out of a firehose for some of them.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

IF Coffee

Shane and I risked slick roads and snow storms to travel to Idaho Falls for our first Genesis Project Coffee up there.

Initially, we were very disappointed as only 5 guys showed up during the first hour. We were certain that this would not only be the first, but last IF coffee. Soon though, people started to filter in, and we ended up with at least 20 guys there. Some of the guys were really great. It was good to see Tim, Nate, Kevin, and Jose again. It was good to meet Doyle and finally meet the previously unseen Dwayne. The only guy I didn't like was a pretentious twat from BYU Idaho who thought he was much better than everyone else. Why would I assume such a thing? Perhaps the 3 snide comments he made about people around him, to their faces, within the first 5 minutes of being there. I had to move to the other part of the room before I either ripped him a new one verbally, or just reached over and knocked him out. My tolerance for blatant rudeness grows shorter every day. Nor am I impressed by closet cases from BYU Idaho who think they're some kind of special-case Mormon. Dude, 90% of that room was raised Mormon, and probably at least 1/4 are returned missionaries. Sheesh.

All in all, it was a good trip and I look forward to future coffee nights in IF. If we get enough interest, we might do a Revelations meeting up there, and get some training done.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Like a Virginal Scissor Sister

I know I'm a bit obsessed about it, but the Confessions on a Dance Floor tour was incredible. Shane and I watched about 1/2 of it tonight before he had to go to work. And yes, this is penance for the long post below this one. I always feel compelled to balance a heavy post with a lighter one.

I decided to be nice to Rui and make an MP3 of the Like a Virgin performance from the concert, since he hasn't seen it yet. I love the new remix they did for it. I skyped it to him a couple of hours ago, and we chatted about it. Rui commented that it sounded like Scissor Sisters. I agreed. He said he expected Jake Shears to start singing at any moment. I said maybe he was. We decided that the new Scissor Sisters album isn't as bad as first impressions gave us. I wanted it to be more immediately danceable; I wanted it a little less Elton, and more Thin White Duke. We both agree BabyDaddy needs to buzz his hair again.

Anyway, I'll spread the love. Here's Like a Virgin from the concert. Right click to save for PC. Control click for us with good computers.

On Sacrilege

According to Merriam Webster's dictionary, the second definition for sacrilege is as follows: gross irreverence toward a hallowed person, place, or thing.

I can agree with this statement in one sense of the word. I can agree that some people may feel that another's actions, words, or art are a form of sacrilege to them. I can see how they would be offended. However, I'm tired of the trite whining about sacrilege being used to neuter free speech.

Case in point: part of Madonna's concert being selectively edited for the NBC broadcast. In the concert, Madonna sings Live to Tell while hanging on a mirrored cross. This portion was cut from the televised version, and instead, we were shown the video which was actually playing on the screens behind her. We watched images of adorable African children pass by while a counter quickly counted to 12,000,000. We later see that this is the number of children currently orphaned in Africa due to AIDS. After Madonna gets off the cross, we see her on stage with the crown of thorns still on her head. She proceeds to finish the song, collapses on stage, and then a series of Bible verses appear on the various screens on the stage. They're the passages where Jesus spoke about clothing and feeding the poor. Heck, she even gave proper attribution to the scriptural passages. This was then followed by internet addresses where aid could be given.

The thing that gets me about this is that there's a lot of negligible assumption going on with this whole thing. Madonna's not performing a "gross irreverence" towards Jesus, but instead trying to emulate him while making an emotional plea that we need to help these children. Yes, perhaps the cross aspect was a bit much, but if you watch the clip, you can easily tell that sacrilege was never an aspect of this performance. Trying to get people to help the poor sounds pretty Jesus-like to me, rather than sacrilegious.

It bugs me that religious groups are so quick to cry persecution these days. More scary than that is the fact that they get away with it so often, and are even catered to. It's clear that NBC bowed to pressure from religious groups to edit the piece, when these groups had never seen the performance in question, nor would they. Her piece wasn't weighed on the merits of the performance, but on the perception of ignorant fools. Or perhaps it would be more fitting to call them "white washed tombs." Newsflash: watching Madonna as Christ is not persecution. Hearing swearing is not persecution. Being told you're not liked is not persecution. Sex on tv is not persecution. Being forced to grant equal rights to homosexuals is not persecution. If you all really want to experience persecution, join your brothers and sisters in Sudan or Indonesia and be put to death for your faith. The big difference is that those people don't whine about petty trivialities or sacrilege.

So, Rick, what's with the vitriolic rant? Well, you see, I view Madonna as a hallowed person. In light of that, any editing of her performance was a "gross irreverence" in my eyes. Also, to clear my conscience, at least I can say I watched the performance and went to church too.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Flash for Money

You click on the flash-based candle. They donate $1 to AIDS research.

World AIDS Day is this Friday. See if your area has any events going on.


    Thursday 7pm Citywide Event at the church behind Pocatello HS
    Friday 10am-2pm AIDS Quilt and information at ISU SUB

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I <3 Madonna Even More

I know that it's been a while since I last blogged. Suffice it to say the last few weeks haven't been the best for me. I might come back again soon and fill in some of the blanks.

Anyway, I'm watching the Madonna Confessions on a Dancefloor concert right now on NBC. I'm so impressed that I had to pause the live tv (thank gawd for my freinds' dvr where I'm dog sitting) and comment on it.

The VJ work in the background is blowing my mind. The whole horse race montage for Like a Virgin nearly had me drooling on myself. I loved that the entire thing was in black and white too. The previous kaleidoscopic red beauty was a sight to behold. For Jump I almost wanted to cry from the aesthetical beauty of the spectacle. The guys doing acrobatics while the VJing when on in the background. I'm jealous. It's a lot like the 30th birthday extravaganza I had started to plan for myself, that alas, won't come to fruition in December. *sigh* Mine had a strong fashion edge to it, based off my obsession with Project Runway. Perhaps in January, when I have the time and resources to pull it off.

Oh man. I can't wait until the concert is available for either purchase or download. I know I'll wet myself pulling it apart layer by layer in examination of the sheer beauty and creativity.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

B'Day Use

Beyonce put out a new album titled B'Day which I'm fairly sure is pronounced "bidet." How ironic, since both should be used to clean my ass.

Democracy, My Ass

I'm going to vote later tonight, but it hasn't been an easy endeavor so far. Just trying to figure out where to vote in Pocatello has been a nightmare. I had to go to my student union, praying that somebody there actually knew, since the city of Pocatello has decided the location of voting is some esoteric triviality reserved for the precious few deemed worthy of such knowledge. I now call this the Gnostic Gospel of Pocatello.

I finally found out where to vote after locating a politically savvy student, and having him call two different people (public officials) to find out where I vote.

Apparently, I'm supposed to vote at a junior high, while they're in session for school. So, I have to go to a public school, wade my way through bratty 13-year-olds, and try to figure out exactly where to go. Screw that. I'll have to wait until I'm done with work before I go. We'll just pretend that the Marshall Public Library doesn't exist in the centre of my voting district, which would be more condusive to the voting process. Arrgh! This is all assuming I'm even able to vote, since the whole local address/permanent address difference has caused problems in the past. You'd think that in a college town, they'd have figured out that issue by now. It's not as if the university spontaneously generated last week.

I think I've officially had it with America. Saying we're all about the public having a voice is a joke. People in Iraq had it better when it came to public voting. They actually got the day off from work in order to take on this serious task. I'm not saying everyone will take the time off to ponder the gravity of this responsibility, but it frustrates me to no end that those who need to vote most are the ones who are often denied the right to vote because it's more important to work and keep their job than go fill out a silly paper. Why should the right to vote be reserved only for those elite enough to have the time/money to be able to vote? Democracy, my ass!

Pam's got a much more eloquent post about protecting the vote and voter fraud over at her place.

Monday, November 06, 2006

I <3 Coffee

but this might be even a little much for me.

Espresso Porn

It's actually a series of photos of espresso shots being pulled. Very interesting, that's for sure. The guy even has his own blog about the espresso he's drinking around NYC, which seems a bit pathological for my tastes, but fascinates me to no end.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Nibbles and Bits

Just for the record, new Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil Triscuits are amazing. It's like the Food Network did a Rachael Ray makeover on your basic Triscuit, and now it sizzles with amazement. Or something. Heck, I'm not very good with the food porn descriptions. That, however, doesn't change the fact that they're amazing.

I'm attempting to make heads-or-tails of CSS design for the website at work. We want to use CSS in case we need to make changes in the future, and you always need to make changes in the future. The problem with CSS is that you have to know it in order to learn it. I got a great free CSS template, but have no idea how to start altering it. So much has changed in web design since I did websites (nearly 7 years ago) and I wasn't exactly bleeding-edge then. Hopefully I'll get something figured out, since we need to get even a bare-skeleton site up and running in the near future. Maybe I'll actually go through some of the tutorials on DreamWeaver, and weave my dream. *sigh* Or maybe I'll just pay some 18-year-old to do it for me. That sounds much easier at this point.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Drip Drip Drop Little April Showers

Saturday night was the annual Halloween Costume Party at the local dive, and we sure as heck were going to look good. My friends and I toiled away for hours making our costumes, making sure that they would meet new standards of hotness never before seen at Chuck's.

I came up with a simple yet ingenius idea for a costume this year. I decided to make a shower costume, a la Karate Kid but opted for the clever trick of making every aspect of my shower golden. We'll see if it takes the reader as long to put that one together as the average patron of Chuck's did that night. Then again, most of you won't be as alcohol addled when you're reading this, so it should take you considerably less time.

I ended up winning $50 for my creative costume, and S got the grand prize of $100 for his Popeye costume. Apparently, Popeye's image didn't get tarnished in the whole spinach/e. coli scandal. S took a bunch of photos, but that was before his camera decided it was thirsty and dove headfirst into a pint of beer. We'll have to see if any pictures can be salvaged. If so, I'll post one or two later.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Form VS Function

I ran across a link for Hussein Chalayan's new Spring line in a art/design website. You know when haut couture is being featured in art magazines, and they're getting all moist about it, there's got to be something amazing going on.

Chalayan worked with the team that created the hippogryph in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to create clothes that can shorten themselves, or completely disappear! Yeah, it's really as astoundingly odd/amazing as it sounds. Watch this video of his Spring fashion show and just try not to let your jaw drop. Oh, and big props to Chayalan for his interesting experimental music. Who knew hand clapping juxtaposed with audio extracts from Apollo moon landings and Hiter's speeches could be so interesting?

Note: Not Safe for Work (unless they dig female nudity.)


Last night was the Wine and Cheese pairing cooking class that S. and I had signed up for a few weeks ago. K. was supposed to go with us, but had a last minute work meeting and had to cancel. Things worked out though, as this opened a spot for W. to join us and Rui.

So, what did I learn last night? A couple plastic cups of wine makes everyone's faces turn red. I'm not sure if it was only the wine, or the combination of the warm room, but at one point, I looked around and it looked more like a high-impact arobics class was going on. The second thing I learned was that while White Merlot may sound exotic and delicious, it practically plays out as nasty Kool-Aid wine. Blech! W. finished our glasses of White Merlot by shooting it, complete with booze grimace afterward. I also learned that "having legs" refers to the wine's ability to stick to the glass, which shows the levels of sugar in the wine, as opposed to the sexiness value of the wine. Finally, I learned that Alice White wines of Australia have short sections of a story on every bottle. Not exactly going to draw me in, but hey, neat marketing ploy.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Make Mine Green

I'm going to the Student Union tonight to watch Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. I did just find out though that the film won't be shown in the usual theatre, but instead will be in one of the smaller rooms. There's refreshments and "a brief discussion" afterward too. Sheesh.

This sounds too much like when Campus Crusade for Christ invites people to see a film, and suckers them into watching the Jesus film with the promise of popcorn and marshmallow peeps. Ah, those sweet, delectible marshmallow peeps. They still don't make up for being suckered into a film based on emotional blackmail. "See, this guy was killed because of you. Now pray to God and have another jelly bean."

Am I just being suckered by a different form of religion tonight? Will there be an alter call to surrender your life to the Ozone? Confess your recycling apathy and break down in tears? I seriously hope not.

Monday, October 23, 2006


My watch died at 4:20 am. I find this to be deliciously funny. Now where are those Cheetos?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

History Repeating...

Think the whole Congressional Page/Sex Boy scandal is something new? Think again.

Idaho Senator Larry Craig made sure to do a pre-emptive strike back then, which only served to make him look even more guilty. Funny thing is, he just got publicly outted today for having sex with men, even though he's consistently tried to pass legislation that discriminates against homosexuals. Further proof that you can't have your cock and eat it too.

Life in HD.

I've been arguing with a buddy of mine about the High Definition vs Standard Definition video wars. He's a die-hard HD hero, and I opt for low-grade SD. I know that the future is in HD (think Blu-Ray discs, etc.) but I'm just not ready to jump on the bandwagon.

I like HD, but only for Discovery Channel animal/plant/landscape type footage. Sharks are amazing when it feels like you can almost touch them. Famous actors, not so much. For instance, has anyone seen The Matrix on a huge tv with DVD? Laurence Fishburn's face is nasty! The moon has less craters. I much preferred it when I originally saw it on low definition VHS and thought of his face as smooth and pristine. At least less zombie-after-nuclear-holocaust-ish than it was on DVD. If Laurence Fishburn looks that bad, I can't imagine what Edward James Olmos looks like in HD. I could film that for two hours and release it as a horror film.

Now even the Food Network is going HD. I want my food in low definition soft shimmery sultriness. I don't want to see every flaw with the creme brule's top. I don't want to see Rachel Ray's clumpy mascara on her face. I don't want to be able to count the folds in Paula Deen's jowls, because she uses butter like the rest of us use oxygen. I prefer to live in a falsely ideal perfection, based on not knowing what things really looks like. If I want sad reality, I'll go watch the people making my burrito at Taco Bell.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Weekend Update: Oct. 13-16

    Read comics.
    Broke toilet seat somehow.
    Watched more Project Runway Season 2.
    Realized Eminem should have called the song "Shake your ass for Jesus" instead.
    Shook my ass for Jesus with a lesbian friend.
    Went to bed.
    Watched cartoons.
    Drank tea from England.
    Had lunch at Greek restaurant with Mari the beautiful.
    Shopped for Illy espresso at Le Jardin.
    Drank coffee (Lavazza, not Illy.)
    Hung out with Shwill.
    Fought my intestines.
    Drank too much.
    Did Exhorcist impression outside bar.
    Passed out in bathroom, while a drag queen waited outside my flat.
    Helped to bed by good friends.
    Watched more Project Runway Season 2.
    Walked to Shwill's to recover jeep.
    Made out with Sadie (not by choice.)
    Went on short shopping trip.
    Tried on cheap Halloween wig that made my head itch for a few hours.
    Ate pizza and watched Red Eye again.
    Watched What Not to Wear marathon on TLC. (Friends with cable rule!)
    Watched final two episodes of Project Runway Season 2. Knew the final outcome already, but still felt stomach butterflies.
    Got email that Tim Gunn (Project Runway) shirt had been sent.
    Posed for impromptu grad student art project.
    Officially metamorphasized into a sloth.
    Bought healthy/organic snacks for yoga tonight.
    Beat myself up for being so lame.

A Look at Masturbation

I meant that figuratively, you perverts.

This gem comes courtesy of Antonin Scalia, member of the US Supreme Court:

"State laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity are likewise sustainable only in light of Bowers' validation of laws based on moral choices. Every single one of these laws is called into question by today's decision; the Court makes no effort to cabin the scope of its decision to exclude them from its holding."
--Antonin Scalia, on the Lawrence v. Texas Supreme Court ruling
I'm still debating which is a worse punishment for masturbating: jail time, or God killing a kitten.

Maybe it's just me, but I have a hard time listening to morality plays from a guy that did the Italian sign for "fuck you up the ass" at the press earlier this year, aided in getting the photographer who captured it on film fired from his job, and is named Antonin. Then again, maybe these do qualify him to speak about sodomy laws. It appears he does have some fetish for screwing guys over.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Mama Said Knock You Out

I'm rambling. My fairly good mood was destroyed about 10 minutes ago when I found that someone complained about our table yesterday in the SUB, and made a lot of seriously false accusations about things that happened. Guess I better get used to it though.
Well, I've since got a little more information about the situation. Apparently the guy went a bit crazy after seeing our table in the SUB, and went on a rampage to various individuals on campus. This includes calling the faculty advisor of the LGBT Student Alliance and giving him an earful of veiled threats. Well, maybe veiled threats... "you'll get yours" and "just see what happens to you" could just be the ravings of a religious nutjob, or the prelude to a hate crime. For once, I'm hoping someone is a religious nutjob.

In the mean time, we've been warned at my new job to call campus security if anyone fitting the description of the guy shows up at our offices. Ah, what an exciting first week on the new job!

Rough Cuts

I'm supposed to have a rough cut of my ethnographic film to turn in today. Due to the fact that I haven't even shot any footage yet, I won't be turning one in. Hell, I won't even be attending class today.

I've always struggled with rough cut screenings in classes. I don't like showing my unfinished work in group settings, because it really bugs me. I feel like in-progress work can really give a wrong impression, which then lingers and negatively affect the impression on the final work. I also don't like showing my work in front of my fellow students, because I've had too much of my work copied in the past. It's not like I'm innovative either, just resourceful, which gives me a leg up on my lazy colleagues.

I'm rambling. My fairly good mood was destroyed about 10 minutes ago when I found that someone complained about our table yesterday in the SUB, and made a lot of seriously false accusations about things that happened. Guess I better get used to it though.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Thanks for the warm wishes and congratulations about the new job everyone. I really appreciate it.


Today is National Coming Out Day, where LGBTQI people are encouraged to be honest with those they love and care about, and share who they really are. As part of my new job duties, I got to help set up and man a booth in the Student Union Building for the Genesis Project. We had information, stickers, buttons, condoms and candy for anyone that wanted them. We just wanted to let people know about the event, and know that there was a safe place on campus for them to express themselves freely.

I was amazed at the reactions we got from people walking by. They ranged from giggles to abject horror. It was frustrating to see the way some people chose to conduct themselves too. For instance, two black girls came by to get some candy, and then muttered something about “faggots” as they walked off. It was tempting to call them “niggers,” just to return the favor of crass epithets, but I decided to take the high road this time.

Maybe the most frustrating experiences came from members of my former church. They would walk by and glare at me, doing everything they could to make eye contact with me and express their general disdain. I’m sure Jesus would be very proud of them. Honestly, I’m not sure when this whole polemic “if you’re not condemning it, you’re condoning it” mentality snuck in.

Some good things did happen though. About ½ hour before I packed up for the day, a young lesbian came to talk to me. She was terrified about her family’s reaction (most likely to be disowned, like many in the area) and was looking for support. I was happy to talk to her for a while and point her in the direction of a group on campus that was a good fit for her. I was also approached by a young man that was terrified to talk to me, but expressed interest in outreach activities we hold during the week. Hopefully he gets the courage to come tonight to coffee, or next Monday.

All in all, it was an eye opening experience for me, and really taught me a lot about how people in my community really think. For the most part, I can do without them, and I’m just happy I got the chance to help a few people.

Oh, and since it’s NCOD and all: I’m gay, just in case you hadn’t quite figured it out.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Well, I'll Be...

Well, apparently I judged things really wrong.

I got the job!! I'm now the Co-Coordinator of the Genesis Project at ISU. It completely caught me off guard, and I really thought that they were calling to let me know I'd been passed over for the job for the reasons I stated previously. I guess my saving grace was that the final decision was left to a neutral 3rd party who had been ill during the interview process. All he had to go on was experience records, and I excelled in that area.

I started this afternoon, which is the same day I gave my two weeks notice at my current job. It's going to be a long week. 20 hours at ITRC, 10 at GP, and classes. Calgon, take me away!

I'm really stoked about this job opportunity though. It'll be nice to move into something new and be challenged again.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

4-10-06 Comics

This week was kind of disappointing as far as comics go. I walked out with only two and a half comics. I'm still mad that they haven't gotten in my last issue of 100 Bullets and it'll be 3 weeks late if it comes next Wednesday. Anyway, here we go:

52: Week 22 Some weeks this comic is incredible, while other weeks it could suck start a Harley, because the suck factor is so high. This week, Harley fanatics were pleased. I've debated for a while about continuing my subscription to this one, and this week caused me to consider even more. Lots of loose story lines that went absolutely nowhere, nothing really going on, too many characters to try and keep up with. I'm getting tired of it. Four brilliant writers is a case of too many cooks in the kitchen.

Doctor Strange: The Oath #1 Brian K. Vaughan is one of my favorite writers. I've often said he could write a brilliant comic in his sleep. Well, apparently he heard me, and thought he'd try. It's not that this comic is bad: far from it in fact. I'm just disappointed because it should be brilliant, and it barely shimmers. And the artwork... god, the artwork. The cover says it all. Yes, the rest looks like they asked a bunch of 6th graders to have a coloring contest, and published the winners. Yay for magic markers!

I also got some MAX Comics preview book, which counts as the 1/2 comic. MAX is Marvel's crap answer to DC's Vertigo line. These are the "raw" comics for adults. The sad thing is that Vertigo actually achieves "raw" and edgy, but MAX feels like they just threw in a few swear words so that they could be adult. Kind of like kids that talk dirty about sex, but won't experience it for some time. And if Hellstorm isn't just a ripped-off combination of Hellblazer and Spawn, I don't know what is.

I'm Analog, He's digital: Lessons in Stereotyping

I've talked before about the job that I applied for. Interviews were last week, and seemed to go well, but due to some health issues with the hiring committee, no decision has been reached yet.

Yesterday, I was talking with one of the members, and in a round-about way, was informed one of my "weaknesses" is that I don't fit a certain stereotype. I'd thought that as a society and a community, we'd progressed past that point, but apparently I'm wrong. It's like those situations where ethnic minorities get lambasted for not acting "_____ (fill in ethnic minority) enough."

I also unfortunately learned that ideals are skewed. What I thought was about education is really about sex appeal. Even though I'm infinitely more qualified than the other lead applicant, it appears he's leading right now due to his "appeal." I've got work experience in the health field, education field, and technology field. I've had prior leadership/management experience. The other guy? He's working his first job as a stock boy at WalMart, but he'll apparently bring in the masses of youth to be educated. So yes, I feel justified in being skeptical of the true ideals of the organization. This is just like that time Carmen Electra beat me out for the striptease exercise video deal. All my years as a stripper counted for nothing.

Maybe I'm just overreacting, and maybe I'll get the job... but I'm highly doubtful at this juncture. This sucks.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Pluto Confirmation

It's true. Pluto no longer is a planet. It was confirmed today in my Astronomy course.

If there's one thing I've learned in that class, it's that anything my professor says must be true. After all, there's nobody smarter, more knowledgeable, or cooler than my professor. I know this because he makes sure to tell us how and why he's better than everyone else on the face of the earth for at least ten to twenty minutes every class. Sometimes I marvel that I was able to pay so little to receive this valuable knowledge!

Flash Detective

I've been really frustrated with Apple lately, but mainly due to a weird issue with the latest update of iTunes. After 7 came out, I noticed that I wasn't able to use any Flash files in my VJ software. I double checked the files, but they just wouldn't play. I'd spent hours of time on a VJ forum, seeing if anyone else had the same problem, but it seemed as if it was unique to me.

It seemed like the only option was to delete the latest version of QuickTime 7 and iTunes 7, and convert back to iTunes 6.5 - an act that wasn't making me very happy, and a little wary that it wouldn't work.

So, last night I decided to do a little more research, and finally found an answer in the Apple forums. It appears that the latest iTunes update reset a preference in QuickTime. Under the advanced settings, I had to flip a marker for "Allow Flash File Play." After that was working, everything was fine with my VJ software. How frustrating that such a little thing had really messed me up, and ruined so much time. Arrgh.

Anyway... just posting this in case anyone else has the same problem.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Fascism Is The New Black

Note:I'm not sure what happened with this post, but it was originally posted last Thursday. However, I now found that Blogger only saved it as a draft. Is this another in the list of Blogger Beta woes?

Between 9am and 11am this morning, I observed 5 shirts with the German war eagle insignia, which was a popular symbol during WWI. It was later altered in WWII by the Nazis, but most shirts seem to favor the WWI slightly less fascist-correlated emblem. I'm just curious why this symbol seems to have suddenly become trendy. Admittedly, it is pretty cool, but after the associations with white supremacy and other unsavory paradigms, I'm still kind of surprised that anyone would want to wear it. Then again, I realize the sheeple are stupid, and would wear skid-marked panties on their head if they saw some famous person do it first. Unless said person was Tara Reid, because that's probably a weekly occurance for her, and we all know she's not fashionable.

I'm also kind of surprised at the modern American fascination with fascism and retrograde politics in general. It's almost as if we want to go back to this falsely idealized post-Victorian era. Think that democracy in Iraq is a new idea? Wrong. The US set up the government that bred Saddam Hussein in the early 1900s, when it overthrew a dictator and set up a false democracy. Sound familiar? Why we think we're going to succeed where our forefathers completely failed is beyond me. Oh yeah, it's because we have iPods. We totally kick ass because we've got iPods! So nanny nanny boo boo to you, foolish leaders of old!

Maybe it's just me, but when I watch the news (though mainstream's a joke), read blogs, or consult the BBC, it looks like we're setting up a similar situation to what Germany found itself in before it fell sway to the persuasion of the Nazi party. Are we one depression away from becoming a fascist state? Does Halliburton have a contract to sew millions of Star of David and Pink Triangle patches? I know I'm getting a little carried away, but one really does have to wonder.

Update: Since this is posted a few days late, it kind of works that there's a prime example of what I'm talking about. Read this article from the New York Times, and try to not rip your hair out. What the hell happened to critical thinking skills here in the US?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

While I Was In England

Intel unrolled their line of Duo Core processors. I could give a shit, but everyone else melted like little smoosh-faced wax lions. Yay. Another reason programmers need to write awful code that'll take up massive amounts of hard drive space, and eat RAM like my mother eats Xanax. Okay, she doesn't really eat Xanax, but it would definitely help.

Everyone in the US was educated about Trans-fat and Omega-3s. I was under the impression that these were either drag queens, or members of the Decepticons. Guess I am sorely wrong on both counts. I think that Omega-3 has something to do with fish, which means that I'll probably die without it, but at least I won't have to eat fish.

Everyone in my office was trained to be a deadly assassin, and walk in stilettos. Okay, I'm totally lying about the stilettos, because it's nigh impossible for the average person. Cake for Charlie... impossible for mortals.

Catty Nurses and Bitchy Dogs

Last night in my HIV/AIDS course, we had to do a bit of group work. Since I didn't want to hang with the pretentious twats (AKA Seminary Boyz) I sat with the group of nurses up front. Damn, them girls get catty! They were looking around the room discussing which girl looked too mannish for her own good, which boy had Dumbo ears (and did his lower appendages match?), which girl looked like she'd crawled out of an 80's dance video, which twin in the back looked the gayest, and which pastor in the previous hour had spewed the most bullshit. Loving every second of it, I egged it on for all it was worth; in this case, it was worth the price of gold.

After class, I went "home" to two whiney bitches. Madison was mad at me about something, and refused to let me take off her bark collar until we'd sat there for 45 minutes. Mind you, the fact that she still had the collar on didn't seem to deter her from barking at me. She'd bark, you'd hear a little electric whine sound, she'd flinch, and then she'd bark again. This went on for a good portion of the 45 minutes, until she finally allowed me to take off the collar, and she collapsed on the couch. Apparently, we have a dog with serious masochistic tendencies here. She'd probably do well in one of the Eagle bars. Should I take her to PetSmart shopping for a harness?

Fashion Forward

I knew there was a reason I heart Syndie so much!

t-shirt idea, by syndie

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

A couple of weeks ago, my boss asked if I could watch his dogs for a few days. I agreed, since it's a pretty easy gig, and then promptly forgot about it.

Yesterday, I walked into work, and my boss handed me a key to his house. He then gave me a laundry list of things to do for the dogs, and said "see you next Monday!" Ack! Monday?!? Apparently "a few days" means different things to different people. Here I was expecting maybe two nights away from my home, and it'll be nearly a week.

Good thing he's got satellite tv, that's all I gotta say.


I had a job interview yesterday for a new job. It's for the HIV/AIDS prevention program on campus, and it would be a really good job. I'd work the same amount of hours that I do now (well, maybe a bit more, but I'd get paid for the volunteer work I do for them now) and it pays about $3 an hour more than my current job. When you make a meager wage, $3/hour is a lot of money.

I'm really hoping I get this job, not just for the money, but also because I want to focus on the educational aspect of the job. I'd love to go to classes to talk about the group, as well as hold workshops to educate people about safer sex. I get really frustrated with the current paradigm that "abstinence only" education is the way to go, for two main reasons. 1) Like that early 90's song says, "people are still having sex." 2) Newer studies are showing that "abstinence only" education works very short term, but then it's been noticed that those educated in this system are even more likely to have have sex in the next year, and do so unprotected. Proper education is the only way we're going to cut down on the AIDS epidemic, but people won't accept that, and it frustrates the hell out of me.

I should know by the end of the week if I have the job or not. I'll let everyone know how it goes.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Eye of the Storm

I stand at the eye of the storm. I find myself in a small patch of zen surrounded by the tempests of life. All around me, the wind howls with judgement, disdain, and displeasure. I find peace and harmony instead here at the eye of the storm, and radiate love like a beacon to the forelorn.

Bwahahaha! Who am I kidding?

Things pretty much suck right now. I've got a job interview for the HIV Prevention program on Monday morning, but I have a lot of worries that I won't get the job. While I have no doubts that I'm more qualified than the other applicants, I also realize this is one of those times where not fitting a stereotype definitely will hurt me. I'm not being negative about this, just realistic.

I'm drowning in school work this semester too. 17 credits is about 4 too many for my last semester, when combined with the 20 hours of work and additional volunteer time I'm doing. Things are stacking up at a crazy rate, and I don't feel like I can keep up most days. Weekends aren't for relaxing right now; they're for catching up on homework and housework. I'm also really frustrated with the courses I have to take this semester. Only two pertain to what I want to do with my life, and the others are just hoops for this circus poodle to jump through. Spanish, Pre-History of Europe, and Astronomy do not inspire me; they demean me. Being well rounded is good, but forcing the issue just for the sake of it belittles people. I also struggle with my Independent Study Film course. The big problem is that I forget about it, since there's no real class, and haven't done anything on it to date. Also, I know that my advisor will just hose me over on this one. I could make the best short film in the history of short films, and he'd still only give me a B or C. I say this from prior experience, where I've had to teach his courses for him (due to his incompetence - a charge I don't make lightly), and yet he still grades me poorly. Wanker.

I'm just not sure what to do right now. I know a lot of things need to change, but I'm unsure how to go about it. I need direction. I'm listless and bored. God, being back in Idaho is awful.

Coded Message

There's a new cub at McKee's Pet Shop in town, and I think it should be added to the petting zoo. Woof!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Cherry Poppin' Blackfoot

About a month ago, I designed a brochure for the Blackfoot Performing Arts Centre. They've started a new concert series, and needed to do some serious advertising. It was a really good paying piece of work, and gave me some much needed graphic design experience. I'd done some print work a few years ago, but it'd been a while, and this project was a good refresher.

In a sad yet slightly humorous twist of fate, one of the scheduled performers died of a heart attack two days after we sent the brochure off to the printers. Part of me wasn't very surprised, since the man was kind of old when he did one of the songs for the original Rocky soundtrack. And yes, that really was his claim to fame.

Anyway, a replacement had to be found. I'm not sure how, or why... but the Cherry Poppin' Daddies will be gracing Idaho with a performance this spring. Mwahahahaha! I can almost hear all of the old people's heads exploding already. This should be good.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Catch U Next Tuesday

No matter how many scenarios you play through in your mind, you realize there's never a good way to tell your friend that his girlfriend is a complete and utter cunt.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I Do Feel Lost

The second verse of this song isn't what I'm thinking at all, but the rest is ringing pretty true right now. Here's Country Mile by Camera Obscura.

Song for preview purposes only.
Silver Birch against a Swedish sky
The singer in the band made me want to cry
We’re all inside our own heads now
We are leaving new friends
We are leaving this town
I wish you could be here with me
I would show you off like a trophy
The road it winds, it twists, it turns, now my stomach burns

Once again I’ll be the foolish one
Thinking a blink of these lashes would make you come
Don’t you worry, don’t get in a state
I don’t believe in true love anyway
Who’s being pessimistic now
I could document this as our first and our last row
The more you look forlorn, the more to you I warm

I won’t be seeing you for a long while
I hope it’s not as long as a country mile
I feel lost

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Anatomically Correct

There are two shows on television I just don't understand the appeal for. The first is Grey's Anatomy, and I just don't get why people watch it. I've tried watching it a few times now, and find myself bored after a few minutes. Whiney people whining about whiney problems has never appealed to me, and thus, my avoidance of small children with innept parents. "Whah whah my lack of sex whah whah need this stat whah heart condition whah whah." That's some dialogue from the pilot, though it could fit in any standard episode of the show. Maybe if I was a shoe-gazing emo kid that was in trouble for wearing my sister's jeans, then I'd be all over it. As is, I'll pass on this crap.

The other show whose popularity is unfathomable to me is House. I'm amazed that people watch each week with baited breath to see what will befall the bitchy-yet-brilliant Dr. House. Spoiler Alert: it'll be the same damn thing as last week, but with a different fill-in-the-blank disease! Could this show be any more formulaic?

Here's an episode of House in 6 easy steps:
1) someone comes to hospital with strange/exotic disease.
2) other medical staff stand around looking perplexed and befuddled.
3) House shows up with "unconventional" diagnosis and/or cure.
4) everyone gets pissy with House.
5) House is correct, and saves the day.
6) everyone else sulks that House was right.
I dare anyone to prove me wrong on this one. I've only seen about 4 episodes, but thought it was a rerun every time.

Praise Jesus for Project Runway, or I'd just have to throw my tv out the window.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Now Hear This!

This post is about some new music I wanted to share with my favorite blogmonkeys. It seems like you can find out just about anything for crap artists like Justin Timberjacksonwannabelake or Beyon-dgawdawfulcatinheathowling-ce, but it takes a little digging to find the good stuff. So, since I know my blogmonkeys have better things to do with their time than surf for music, I've decided to help you out.

Ray LaMontagne: I bought this CD a few weeks ago, after hearing it at Virgin and getting moist. It's a mix of folk, americana, and neo-soul. Even my picky-ass mother, who likes no music except Abba and Tina Turner, exclaimed that it was "pretty good" after listening to it yesterday. Hey, you make me drive from Boise, you listen to what I want.

Bonnie "Prince" Billy: I don't know most of his stuff, but I found a link to his new video this afternoon. (Requires QuickTime.) It's good folk music, if you prefer your folk a little less crack addicted than say Devandra Banhart's brand of folk. It also features a semi-adorkable guy wearing what appears to be an afghan puli dog.

Zero 7: I didn't really like their new album at first, but it really grew on me. Kind of like that fungus on my taint, but with less negative side effects. Anyway, their new album combines a few of my favorite things: Zero 7, Jose Gonzalez, and videos of swirling/morphing food. Hot damn!

Malajube: French-Canadians that foolishly decided to sing in French, rather than Canadian. At least they didn't marry 90-year-old men and get tricked into performing at Vegas. I have no idea what they're singing about, but I like it. Check out their inventive videos, and try to imagine they're singing about love or puppies, and not skinning little children alive, since it's not in English, and there's a possibility that's what's going on.

The Rapture: I heard these guys were the originators of the dance-rock genre you all should be worshipping right along with me. Yes, you. The tortured one with the eyeliner and the Bravery tshirt in the corner, who's much too cool to fall for crappy emo, yet still feels all the same ways as his whiney emo counterpart. Scoot your booty to The Rapture instead of Dashboard Crapfessional, and revel in the fact people actually like you at the end of the day.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Sex and the City: Shooting Blanks

I just read this hilarious story on the BBC News site about the women in a Columbian city refusing to have sex with their men unless the men give up their gangster ways.

They even have a hot new rap song that they've written to back up their sex strike. Here's a sample lyric:

As women we are worth a lot. We don't want to fall for violent men because with them we lose too much.
Catchy! It's got a good beat, and you can dance to it. I'm just waiting for Paris Hilton to do a cover of it for her sophomore release.

Not to be outdone by a bunch of frigid women in Columbia (I'm kidding) I've decided to do my own rap lyric for them:
Bang your gun, you won't bang me. Stuck in the forest screwing chimpanzees.
Okay, that's shite. No wonder my recording career never got off the ground.

80's Porno Guy

There's a guy I see everywhere on campus lately that I've taken to calling "80's Porno Guy." I highly doubt he's filming amateur erotic films at home or anything, but he does look mysteriously like he just stepped off the set of some late 80's porn set: Short permed (I think... it may be natural) hair, porno 'stache, painted on Levis, completely white Reebok tennis shoes. It's just really odd.

I just saw him sitting on a bench smoking a cigarette. All I could think of was him getting it on in white tube socks with the coloured stripes at the top while watching Magnum P.I. It's kind of creepy.

I really need to learn the fine art of being ignorant of my surroundings.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Fashionable Jonesing

I have a confession; I'm a junkie. There, I said it. It's all out in the open now for everyone to see, and you'll all just have to deal with it.

It started slowly. A little free sample here, another there... and suddenly I was hooked. My mom had warned me not to spend time with "those people," as they were surely up to no good, but I was too arrogant to listen.

Yes, those bastards at NBC and Bravo got me hooked on this season of Project Runway. I love the show. The drama, the fighting, and the occasional flash of fashion make me salivate. More, more, more! I need more!

I watched a big block of it on Bravo this last Sunday, and just found one of the best weekly recaps about it. It's written by Dave White, who's the much better version of Joe.My.God, IMNSHO. His recent story about taking his stroke-afflicted mother bra shopping made me want to cry and laugh at the same time. It also made me secretly wish that my mother would have a stroke, so that we could maybe be close, and she'd be restricted to saying "no" and "muahmuahmuhmuhmuah" too. God, that would be heaven. Not having to listen to her scream "John, what were you thinking?!?" in her harpie voice is worth the price of extra salty bacon alone. Hmmm... now I have to research stoke induction methods.

Monday, September 11, 2006

AIDS On My Mind

I've been thinking about HIV/AIDS a lot lately. I've got an upper-level Biology course every Tuesday night about it, and we're presented with startling facts every week. I recently applied for a job with an HIV prevention program at ISU. A week ago, I tested negative for my HIV test. I think about it a lot lately.

Can you believe that conservative estimates are saying nearly 40 MILLION people will be infected with HIV in the next decade? Approximately 2.8 million died last year of AIDS, and another 4 million were infected with HIV.

You look at the numbers, and you realize it's only a matter of time until someone you know is touched by the disease, gets HIV, or dies of AIDS. I've been lucky so far, and only have a few distant degrees-of-separation to HIV/AIDS. I know it can't last long though.

PBS's Frontline did a great 4-hour series about the HIV/AIDS epidemic. If you're like me, you missed it on tv, but you can now watch it online. Thanks PBS!

9/11 Anniversary: 5 Years of Insanity

I know that this is the time to sit back and reflect about how 9/11 changed my life, and how I was affected, and what I was doing at the time... but that's not me. Nor, really, do I give a crap about 9/11.

Gasp! How can this be? Well, lets look at some statistics.

Death total from Sept. 11 attacks: Roughly 2,800 (though debated as high as 3,000)

Death rate in 2001 (U.S.) from heart disease: 669,697 (averages to 1835/day)

Death rate in 2001 (U.S.) from cancer: 553,251 (averages to 1516/day)

Death rate in 2001 (U.S.) from AIDS: 15,000 (est.)
So, statistically, more people died of heart disease and cancer on September 11 than did people from terrorist attacks. Wow, interesting. They seem to fail to mention that in all of the "pro-freedom" propaganda. Hey, remember that crazy thing a few years ago called the Boxing Day Tsunami? How many died? Do you even remember there was a tsunami? Yeah, me neither. That's because we can't handily label people and write compelling docudramas about what happened. Nobody can harbor angst against a giant wall of water for 5 years and have it still be deemed socially acceptable.

So, this year, I demand a change. This year, I won't sit and bemoan what happened, and pretend that it was much worse than it really was. I won't sit and watch awful dramaumentaries on TV and partake in the emotional masturbation that seems to be happening so much this year. Nor will I not cringe when I listen to the word "evil" be thrown around so arbitrarily concerning that day, while I can look at the actions of our country since that date and mentally use the same term.

Yes, 9/11 was bad, but no, it doesn't merit the levels of insanity that seem to have swept the world since then. I hate to admit that the terrorists won, but damn, it's like they really didn't even have to try to make people go clinically insane. They just tricked us into blaming one set of religious zealots while wholeheartedly embracing another, and trading civil liberties for the illusion of safety.

Now that's a sad fact I will bemoan.

Not Happy

I "upgraded" to the new version of Blogger today, and I'm not happy at all. There are a few nifty additions, but overall, I'm unimpressed.

I just spent nearly 3 hours trying to figure out how to get my comments from Haloscan into the new Blogger, with no luck. I still have all of the old comments saved in Haloscan, but it won't interface with Blogger's messed up new templates.

I'll keep trying to get the old comments working in here. If i can't get it to work, I'll have to go back to Blogger's commenting system, which is crap. I'll let you know the final verdict soon.

Update: I ended up finding my old template and reverting back to it, so it looks as if comments are back now. What a pain in the ass! I'm really getting frustrated with Blogger lately. It's kind of like how Hotmail was great until Microsoft took over... if you catch my googley drift.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Snakes On A Plane absolutely brilliant! I thought I'd hate it, but it's simply astounding, because it's the best worst movie of all time. Imagine taking every bad film cliche, rolling it into a big ball, and throwing Samuel L. Jackson in the mix. Out pops one of the funnest films I've seen in a long time. My friends and I were howling with laughter during most of the film. Lines like "get this snake off my dick!!!" couldn't work with just any other film.

I highly recommend it. Highly.

I'm also awaiting the porno version, "Skanks On My Wang."

Stress Management

I'm stressed right now. A couple of big deadlines, both work related, are due this Friday, and they're really pressing on my mind. The podcasting thing is a nightmare, because it's too much too fast, and we're not set up to accomodate students with the listening process. I'm a little jaded too, because I feel like this grant was done just to get some of the faculty shiny new video iPods for free, rather than for true educational purposes. And yes, I'm jaded that I'm doing all the work for this damn project, but don't get a video iPod for doing it, which sucks because they're handing them out like STDs around here; any old whore gets one for free.

I also have a bunch of stuff to do for school, and it just never seems like there's enough time in the day. Cleaning, laundry, time with friends, and all of the basic needs are going neglected right now, and I'm frustrated with it. I need to figure out some way to add an extra day to the week, or hire a maid, or steal Riddlin from little kids, or beat a small child with a bottle of Riddlin. Whichever has a greater cathartic effect as this point in time. I just need a break.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Superman on IMAX

200% bigger. 100% just as lame.

Nice Hooters

Rui and I experienced our first Hooters this weekend in Boise. The food was that "middle-of-the-road-overprocessed-food-chain-too-expensive" food that you get just about everywhere anymore, so I can't really complain. A 20-something ounce Guinness on draught just about made me wet myself with pleasure though. Ah, how I've missed the Guinness on draught.

In Hooters, I saw: one child smack her face on the floor, one waitress chase said child around the booths, one twelve-year-old boy about cream his trousers watching said waitress, one shocked waitress (for other reasons), one small child double-fisting curly fries, one amazing set of fake breasts, and a handful of horny men.

Maybe it's just Boise where the theme could be "Hooters: It's All About Families."

Friday, August 25, 2006

Hawaiian Shirts

Today was ISU's official "ugly ass Hawaiian shirt day." It had to be. It seemed like everywhere I was on campus, I was surrounded by at least two of the ugly ass shirts.

They were cropping up in Anthropology, dominated in Astronomy, and littered the SUB. One was even paired with Crocs, which was enough to make me consider an old-fashioned stake burning, a la Joan of Arc. The worst, however, was the basalisk's-glare like horror of my boss's Hawaiian shirt. I'm convinced it was somehow nuclear powered. It had to be, to burn my eyes that bad.

Not to sound all Carrie Bradshaw, but has our culture devolved to the point where ugly is the new beauty?

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Which Is Most Shocking?

Apparently, Pluto is no longer classified as a planet, because it "couldn't dominate its orbit around the Sun in the same way as the other planets." Yeah, I have no idea what that means either. It sounds slightly similar to erectile dysfunction to me, which makes me want to point at Pluto and giggle. Now I'm left imagining the Disney dog wearing a gimp mask and sporting a limp penis, which makes me want to giggle even harder, and vomit a little.

In other shocking news, Plan-B (commonly known as the Morning-After Pill) will be available over the counter. Unless you're under the age of 18, in which case you'll need a prescription and parent's notification. Yeah, because that's going to happen. So, while I'm shocked as hell that we're actually allowing Plan-B in pharmacies, I'm equally shocked that Anne Coulter hasn't been all over the media ranting, raving, and screaming about this development. Oh yeah, nevermind... I forgot that Anne Coulter "allegedly" has a penis, and thus doesn't need to worry about Plan-B. (Note: by "allegedly" I mean "absolutely," but don't want to be sued, so we'll stick with "allegedly.")

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Ugly Photos

Someone emailed me some of the most hideous pictures to ever be taken with a digital camera. Okay, maybe not the MOST hideous, as that would involve naked photos of my parents, but this is pretty damn close. I almost wretched all over the desk at work.

Lesson of the day? Sometimes email can be used for dastardly purposes.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Pod People

I've been given a new assignment at work this week. I'm supposed to develop a website section for my office about creating Podcasts.

Educational podcasts... zzzzzzzz... oh, sorry... didn't mean to *yawn* get all groggy on you there.

Podcast + Education = Boring Crap

This is a prime example of where something cool is being ruined by an even stronger uncool force. It's like Christian Professional Wrestling or midget porn...there's just something innately wrong with it.

Hot Swappable

I made some changes to my school schedule this afternoon. First, I dropped Pathobiology like it was hot after the first session. It seems that it builds upon recently learned factoids from Anatomy and Physiology. That's great and all, unless it's been a few years (like 3 or more) since you took A&P. The professor suggested I "brush up by reading the A&P book this weekend." Sure. 500 pages worth of heavy text. I'll make sure to give myself a steel wool enema while I'm at it, just to help things go quicker.

Since Pathocrapology was no longer an option, I had to find a class to replace the needed credits so I can graduate in December. Looks like I'm now registered for Astronomy class. I'm going to learn about the stars and mythology and pretty much be bored out of my mind. I may choose to spice things up by taking my tarot cards and bitching loudly and often about how I was under the impression I'd signed up for Astrology class instead, and how the psychic in Harry Potter got a bum rap from J.K. Rowling.

I also had to drop my Persuasive Video course. It's some sort of advertising/video course. I really wanted to take it, but honestly didn't want to be saddled down with 18 credits this term. I was thinking more like 13, but I'm still at nearly 16. This sucks. Now I have to decide between taking Visual Anthropology, or doing extra work through independent study and doing Film Production on my own. Either way, I've already laid the ground work through projects in the UK that I wanted to redo in a better manner. And by "better" I mean "give a shit about" because I basically did the minimum over there. Hey, don't look at me that way. I'm a victim of the system here, buddy.

Monday, August 14, 2006


Okay, so the new "Google Blogger" vomit that I just had to click through a bunch of times is pure and utter bollocks! Saying I can switch by just clicking two places, and then saying, "oh, we forgot to mention, it's only available on a silly random selection basis... please play again" totally gets my blood boiling.

Bollock, I say! Bollocks!!

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Ack! An entire week without blogging, after my rediscovered joy in writing posts. It's been one hell of a week. Going to airports, meeting guys from Dallas, babysitting two dogs, watching a home, feeling overwhelmingly responsible all of the sudden... it wears a guy out!

I'm also busy working on the brochure that I mentioned last week. It's such a time consuming process, and it hasn't been going the quickest lately. It's one of those things that's best to be able to just sit uninterrupted for a few days, but I don't have that luxury right now. We're still trying to figure out what to do, since one of our printers won't send us the file we need, and the other one came in a few thousand dollars higher on the bid than expected. Arrgh....

I'm hoping to get some stuff done around the house tonight too, and see if that helps me to feel more relaxed. It's hard to not get stressed when you're battling with suitcases and piles of clothes every morning. Rui was kind enough to organize the kitchen the other day, and that was a huge burden lifted off my back. Now, if only the rest of the new flat would fall in line.

One of the weirdest things about this week is that I'm missing England like crazy. I think a large part of it had to do with the freedom I had there, and lack of silly responsibilities, and I really crave it again. I just hope I get to return soon.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Off On a Jaunt

I was going to post the weekly Comic Review today, but due to some reciprocal manual labor last night, I didn't have time to read more than one of the comics. I'll probably get to it in a few days, when I have more time, and can actually remember what all I bought. There were a few first isssues in the batch this week.

Rui arrives in the Divided States of Amurika tomorrow evening, so I'm driving down to SLC to pick him up. I know that it's all going to be a huge culture shock for him. It was bad enough for me coming back from Europe, and I knew what to expect. I'm sure he'll marvel for days at the percentage of buffarillos around here. A buffarillo is one of the morbidly, morbidly obese with cheese you see around here (hat tip: Syndie, by way of Kevin.)

I'm leaving for SLC tonight, so I can hang out with my nieces tomorrow. They're demanding that I take them to BC Chicken and clothes shopping tomorrow. My sister's still laid up from her knee surgery, and my B-I-L sure as hell wouldn't take them. It's up to me that they don't look like total tools at school this next year. Good thing they're actually rather fashionable and popular... everything I wasn't growing up.

I'll post again in a few days, and report on Rui's culture shock.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Artistic Insecurity

I'm sure I mentioned that one of the worst parts about culture shock and reverse culture shock is the devestating insecurity that goes with it. It seems like any shred of self-esteem and faith in yourself flies right out the window.

I thought that I was done with reverse culture shock. Yes, I still get angry about stupid things here in the US, but I think it has more to do with having a more open mind than it does with culture shock at this point.

Today, the insecurity monster reared its ugly head and took a big old chomp out of my ass. I'm helping a friend work on a brochure for a new performing arts centre. We're in charge of design, layout, and all that jazz. It's been really scary though, because the people in charge just gave us carte blanche on the project. The problem with carte blanche is that it always comes back to bite you on the ass, much like insecurity did a few hours ago. Without fail, those clients who say they don't care about the final result are the ones who nitpick and whine until you're ready to stab out their eyes out with a shrimp fork. Perhaps that's the reason I don't go to dinners with clients.

I've had a sort of artist anxiety today trying to think of cool things we could do with the brochure. I want it to look really good, but I also know that I'm not the most skilled with the graphics programs. Usually I'm willing to live within my limitations, but it's really getting to me this time.

I just hope that we get something we can all be proud of in the short amount of time we have to do it.


I forgot to mention that the link to the survey may make you paranoid for a short period of time. I'm not sure I'll ever look at email the same way again.

Honestly, I hope that T. gets to share his results from the surveys, because I want to know more about what he was asking about.

Be afraid... be very afraid!

PS - If you don't know what I'm talking about, but would like to, take the survey in the post below this one.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Help Send a Little Love

One of my friends from the University of Plymouth needs people to do his online survey for one of his courses. I thought I'd be nice and post the link to the survey on my blog, just in case any of you are nice enough to be willing to take the time and help a brother out. He says the survey takes about 25-30 minutes to complete.

He needs responses from different nationalities, so feel free to do the survey from wherever you may live.

Survey is here.

Friday, July 28, 2006


I just ran over to the administration building to pick up my paycheck, and found myself sweating five steps out the door of the library. Sometimes, it's actually a detriment to work in an overly air conditioned office all day, especially when it's hotter outside than snorting napalm off Paris Hilton's ass.

In disheartening news, my trip back was ruined by A) a paycheck much smaller than I remember from last summer, and B) tar laid a week ago getting so warm and gooey that it's currently relocated to the bottom of my flip flops. Ugh... complete with little pebbles everywhere. My shoes look like the bottom of an aquarium now.

Mouthpiece of God

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out who's the worse PR agent for God; the deranged Shirly Phelps of Westboro Baptist, or Fox New's reporter. Seriously, Phelps is a total whack-job piece of shite, but since when does quoting scripture on the air fit into journalistic integrity? You've also gotta love the reporter's clever way of alluding to the word "bullshit" without actually saying it. Was that for FCC purposes, or to save face with the G.O.D.?

Watch this if you want to be super-model svelte, but prefer to avoid the unsightly finger stains of gagging yourself.

26-7-06 Comics

This was supposed to be another cheap week in comics. I'd gone in to get the new 52, and the new Morrison arc of Batman. Unfortunately, Batman sold out 1 hour after being placed on the shelf. Now, I've got to wait for a 2nd print, which really chafes like wet leather trousers. I ended up finding a few comics I wanted though, and got more of the 52 back issues.

Eternals #2
I was supposed to get this last week, but due to a shipping error, my store didn't get any of their copies. I was actually kind of glad it came this week, because it gave me somthing really good to read. While I'm not really digging the artwork (though it is growing on me), I LOVE LOVE LOVE the story on this.
Things get super crazy in this issue, when a party gets very out of hand, and an Eternal is being tortured by an unknown group. I'd love to share more about this comic, but don't want to spoil it for Rui, who won't get it for a little while.

52: Week 12
We learn more about Black Adam in this story, which is good. For some reason, I really had no idea who the hell he was, or why he was suddenly on the scene. Here, I learned how he'd been bestowed with powers in the same way that Captain Marvel had, and even been imprisoned for a thousand years by the wizard.
Also in this issue, we see one seriously messed up Billy/Cap'n Marvel, and the birth of a goddess. Ancient Egyptian goddesses are hot. It'll be interesting to see what happens with the newly reincarnated (?) Isis, and how her change will affect Black Adam becoming a good man.

Civil War #3: Incentive Turner Variant Cover
I know I already had a copy of this comic, and gave it a glowing review last week, but I was still excited to find and purchase this variant cover version of the comic.
What made buying this variant cover even better was talking about it with Rui the next day. It seems that the variant cover I picked up for $3 is selling for more than $20 online right now.

You'll Pay For It Later

Lots of booze, lots of incredible friends, lots of laughs, lots of hugs and kissed, lots of pictures taken, and lots of karaoke...

last night was the best time I've had in a really long time. There's something about capping off the evening singing Ike and Tina Turner's version of "Proud Mary" with friends while a drag queen does the Tina Turner dance in the background. It was magical.

Getting to bed after 3am, and showing up to work about 2 hours later than you intended? Not so much.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Sorry Mr. Quasi-Boss Man...

but that lyric from Belle and Sebastian you just misheard was

until she comes back again


until shit comes back again

...but thanks for playing.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Interesting Projects

I've actually had a few interesting projects come in at work lately. Usually, I get stuck converting boring lectures to streaming format, and wasting my skills, but things have been kind of fun the past few days.

First, I got a VHS copy of the original Patterson film. This is the most recognized piece of Bigfoot film ever recorded. I'm not going to comment on the validity of said film, but it was pretty cool to convert it to DVD, knowing that the Pattersons had it in their grubby hands.

Next, I got handed a video for a home self-catheterization device. Apparently, one of the departments here needs a digital copy of it. Gross, I know, but at least it's interesting. Also, the little label that says "We do not condone using saliva during the cateterization process" nearly made me wet myself.

Finally, I spent the last few hours going through old footage of the boxing club that existed on campus in the 1950s. Most of it was kind of boring, but the guys I was recording the footage for were intriguing. I also learned that there was a mentally handicapped man on campus during that time, who roamed the campus wearing a plastic sheriff's badge, and would "arrest" students. We also learned the boxing fraternity took him to parties and got him drunk, when they weren't pulling down each other's trousers. Looks like frat boys really haven't changed much.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Bright Life

I'll be out of town for a few days, so I'm trying to leave readers something to read while I'm gone. Thus, the tidalwave of posts this morning.

I've noticed that while I'm surfing the net, looking at people's blogs, photowhoring pages, video sites, etc., everybody else's lives seem to be infinitely more interesting than mine.

They're brighter than me, dress better than me, have better furniture than me, look better than me, go nicer places than me, have better musical tastes than me, love their families more than me, take better photos than me, are more creative than me, have more practical skills than me, give themselves better haircuts than I do, eat tastier foods than me, smell more oceans than me, see more concerts than me, buy more comics than me, hang out with friends more than me, have a more well-rounded Rolodex than me, are more organized than me, are more imaginative than me, taste better than me, are better in bed than me, write better than me, make better soap than me, VJ better than me, own more pets than me, knit more scarves than me, have better cars than me, see better movies than me, love viral videos more than me, know better sites on the internet than me, been to more foreign countries than me, have better vision than me, have straighter teeth than me, earn more money than me, dance better than me, know more famous people personally than me, are more politically active than me, are loved by Jesus more than me, drink finer alcohol than me, are more driven than me, have a bigger passion for life than me, have more interesting health maladies than me, know more bears than me, wear fancier underwear than me, kiss better than me, dated more supermodels than me, have nicer hair than me, talk on better mobile phones than me, fake British accents better than me, paint better than me, know more human anatomy than me, have more sex than me, get more financial aide than me, kill less plants than me, are more talkative than me, make better music than me, have newer laptops than me, tolerate heat better than me, have tasted more microbrews than me, are fancied more than me, laugh more than me, have less grey hairs than me, have better credit than me, sing better than me, sleep better than me, jump higher than me, are more tolerant than me, and burn hotter and brighter than me.

It's not that I'm down on myself, and I promise I'm not depressed. It's just an interesting trend I've noticed lately. I'm suppose those I quasi-envy all think the same thing about others when they see their sites.

So, dear readers, tell me what intesting things you've been up to. We'll all sit back and marvel at each other, and try to realize that nobody's lives are actually mediocre, except to ourselves.


He used to be so good. What happened?

I'm listening to his new album, and just heard him call himself "Louis Vuitton on a skateboard" or something rancid like that. It's the verbal equivalent of Herb, that creepy guy that lives down the street.

Gawd, he just made a long reference to MySpace in the same song!!

He's officially dead to me. Not much of a loss, because this album SUCKS!!

I want N.E.R.D. back, from their first album days.

I just found out about which is a new YouTube like site.

So, what's the draw of yet another viral video site? Why should you care? Two reasons:

1) They don't make you give up your copyright when you submit a video. YouTube basically screws you over, and anything you put on there is now official property of YouTube. Read the small print kiddies.

2) MONEY!!!! You make money off of your Revver videos. They attach a small commercial at the end of your video (so nobody has to actually watch it) and you make a small portion of money every time somebody watches the video. You can attach the video to your blog, MySpace page, or any other site you want... and still make money off of it! It's not like you'll be Donald Trump any time soon, but maybe your Johnny Depp spoof video will pay for a viewing of Pirates of the Caribbean.

19-7-06 Comics

I thought this was going to be a light week for comics, but somehow managed to come out of the comic store nearly 18 dollars lighter than when I'd entered.

I started collecting DC's 52 a few weeks ago, but had missed the first 8 issues. I got talking about it with my cousin-in-law, and she told me a deadbeat customer had the entire 52 series in his box, but due to his delinquency, they were all mine if I wanted. Of course, I jumped on it, just to help the store out. I'm buying a few back issues a week, until I've caught up.

That said, here's this week's comics (Due to shipping errors, no Eternals or X-Men Civil War this week):

52: Week 11 This series covers all 52 weeks of the year between Infinite Crisis and One-Year Later. At first, I wasn't sure where the series was headed, so I didn't pay much attention. Now, I'm really starting to enjoy where it's headed. This week featured the first offical appearance of a very Lipstick-Lesbian Batwoman. I'm interested to see what happens with the faceless man, and how he fits in with the bigger picture.
Just as a side note, I hate how mainstream society is okay with the gays, as long as they're lipstick lesbians. Those are the trendy, athletic, supermodelesque lesbians that don't scream "dyke." Kudos to DC for adding some diversity, but must they be lipstick lesbians? Batwoman would have been hot with a mullet.

Justice League of America #0 Number 0?!? This comic sets up the new series of JLA, which starts off next month. Due to the events of Infinite Crisis, and One Year Later, this story picks up parts of the past, present, and future of the JLA. Honestly, it was kind of confusing, because it jumps all over the timeline, a la Quentin Tarantino, but without the narative skill. There's also a different artist for almost every other page, which is visually interesting, but also a bit frustrating. The one thing I liked about this comic was how it outlined the weird tension (sexual?) between Batman, Supes, and Wonder Woman. It also showed that they're going to rebuild the JLA, and have to pick new members in the next issue. I'm stoked to see who they pick.

Civil War #3 I definitely saved the best for last. If you're not really into comics, or trying to get into comics, pick up the Civil War series. *hint hint, Derek* It's exactly what a good comic should be. One hell of a fantastic story line, incredible art work, and people in spandex fighting each other. What more can a boy ask for?
This issue follows the fight between Tony Stark (AKA Iron Man, AKA Uber Douche) and my hero, Captain America. This time the fight gets personal, with Stark and Cap going toe-to-toe in an actual fight. And just when you think things can't get worse, a surprise appearance at the end really messes things up. I can't wait for #4.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Something Worse Than MySpace...

...when WalMart (whom I vehemently despise) tries to have their own uber-cool MySpace ripoff called "The Hub."

Wow, this is sad. You'll have to read the article to fully appreciate how lame WalMart really is. If WalMart was a young woman, would it be a faghag, or is that giving them too much credit?

Perhaps WalMart should start giving their marketing team some of the profits they reap by raping (their employees... without lube of course) and pillaging (smaller communities) their way across Amurika.

Hat Tip: Chris Glass

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Awful Music

When doing corporate video work, you often times have to find music to go under the video. It's one part of the process that drives me crazy. You'll listen to awful music for about an hour, to finally find a song that's only marginally craptastic.

Today's search yielded one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Click here to be tortured.

Guy pointed out that although labeled as a "kids song" it was surely created with porn in mind.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Superbland Returns

This is one of those blog entries that I'm sure I'll get lambasted for, but I'm going to go ahead and do it.

I watched Superman Returns yesterday, and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't impressed. I certainly wouldn't go as far as the obsessed fan in Entertainment Weekly that called it "perfection on film." I'd be more apt to refer to it as "another crap Singer film."

It wasn't that the film was bad, it's just that it wasn't good. The sappy, over the top emotional scenes made me want to vomit. The expository dialogue was trite and forced, and basically not how anyone would ever talk, unless Brian Singer was in their brains. (Did I mention that I don't like Singer?) I honestly got bored at a few points, and I'm the guy that gushes about the 2-hour Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring Again where nothing happens for 2 hours! While some of the special effects were amazing, there were some total crap ones, and I'm beyond underwhelmed with special effects just for special effects sake.

Other rants: Superman's costume was ugly: the cape looked like a red Hefty garbage sack, his boots looked like chunky/tacky Sketchers from 10 years ago, and the logo looked like something from a REI catalogue made of new waterproof material. Lex Luthor's character got neutered somewhere along the lines, though that's Singer's fault, not Spacey's. Luthor, who should personify class, dignity, intelligence, and wealth, lacked all of those traits. He was now a bumbling buffoon that seduced old women for their money, and led a nondescript pack of non-threatening rogues. Parker Posey and Kal Penn's talents went unused. Penn didn't even get any dialogue, for hell's sake! The climax of the film was lame. I was still waiting for the big final climax when the credits started to roll. Anytime I leave a film thinking, "that's it?" I know that I'm not going to be happy.

Ugh! I could go on and on, but that's not healthy.

Instead, I'll just end by saying that I blame each and every failure of the movie on Singer. He created a brilliant story for The Usual Suspects, but that was the only decent thing he's done in his career. The only director/writer I think is worse than him is George Lucas.