I'm going nuts...

I can't sit here anymore. I'm at work, and I just want to scream. It's not because of anything at work, for the first time in a really long time, but a ton of external things. I feel like I've got too many thoughts going on in my head, and they're all clammoring for space in there. A chorus of voices shouting for my attention, and I don't want to listen to any of them.

I'm just feeling funky, in a depressed sort of way. I feel so completely powerless about a number of things going on in my life right now. A friend asked last night if I was happier now with my life, after making some major changes, than I was a few years ago when I was fighting myself. I don't know. I'm not sure. At times I am, and at others, I'm eaten from the inside by a terrible grief/guilt that threatens to consume me.

London's burning. A friend's about to go into a potentially dangerous situation. Another friend might be in a suicidal funk, and has me worried. My sister's cracking up, and sends me weird emails, but won't talk to me in person or over the phone about the emails. She pretends that nothing's wrong, when I know that too much is.

Why did I get out of bed this morning?