Watch Nothing

I wanted to go to the movie theatre and see a good film this evening. Oops. Nevermind. Two big problems there. 1) No movies were playing after 7:10, and I didn't think to check on them until 7:30. How foolish of me to expect a movie to play at 9pm in Idaho. Arrgh. 2) There are no good movies playing here in Pocatello. I really wanted to see Children of Men or Notes on a Scandal or The Queen or anything with some class to it, but instead, I'm presented with the following:

Code Name: The Cleaner Films like this remind me the general public is idiotic.
Eragon It looks like Dungeons and Dragons, and there will be no "fool me twice" shame-shaminess this time.
Happily N'Ever After Just go rent Shrek instead.
Primeval That Lake Placid and Ghost in the Darkness hybrid we never needed to see made.
Rocky Balboa Does Stallone know someone stole his Madame Tussaud's wax figure to make a film? I'd be pissed.
We Are Marshall (Remember the Titans - race issues + sadness) x (Waterboy - funny) = We Are Marshall = hell no.
Dreamgirls The only desirable option, thanks to Bill Condon, but Beyonce's obnoxiousness gives me shingles.
Freedom Writers Dangerous Minds without the great Coolio song on the soundtrack.
Night at the Museum Ben Stiller plays Ben Stiller, yet people still find it fresh. *sigh* He's the new Kevin Costner.
The Pursuit of Happyness The fact that they spelled "happiness" wrong drives me crazy, almost as crazy as Will Smith does.
Stomp the Yard Ugh. Stomp my balls if I ever even entertain the thought of seeing this.

So, what's the lesson about films today? Obviously, derivative is the new imaginative. I support recycling, but this is just sad.