Sympathy for the Devil

Films that make you sympathetic for terrorists are hot. Urban terrorism a la Fight Club? Hell yeah... that was some glamorous terrorism.

Sadly, this was not the case for Catch A Fire, a film about a man in South Africa during the age of apartheid, who becomes a terrorist/freedumb fighter after he and his wife were kidnapped and tortured. It was the wife issue that really pushed him into terrorism. Apparently, them smacking his wife around a little was reason to grab a bomb or two. You can tell his rage about the wife issue because he howls with extra special anguish and double spittle this time. I think he was just pissed that they didn't have the decency to smack her around while wearing white tank tops and holding a Pabst Blue Ribbon. I know I'd go Rambo if someone smacked my wife around, and did a half-assed job like that. What, no Pabst? It's on!!

The guy, who I cared so little about I didn't even learn his name, moves to some country to join some terrorist group to blow up the Secunda factory. Hmm... on further reflection, I only remember the wife's name, Precious, because my friend's mother had an obnoxious poodle named Precious whom everybody hated. And it's sad I can remember the name of the factory, but not any character except the wifey with a dog's name. That's always a good sign that this was a bad movie.

So Mr. Terrorist plants a bomb and Tim Robbins chases him with bad clothes and some undiscernable/contantly switching accent. Then, Tim magically happens on the bomb and disarms it at the last second. They then catch Mr. Terrorist, and I'm thinking Tim Robbins' character is the hero of the movie. Nope. I was wrong. Suddenly there's some stupid epilogue about how Mr. Terrorist was sent to and released from prison and how he was somehow like Nelson Mandela, and then how he could have killed Tim Robbins, but valiantly doesn't... and then there's footage with the real man this story is based on... and suddenly I'm on the couch wondering what the hell happened to the end of this story, and why I actually watched all of this drivel. Damn, somehow I missed all the cues I was supposed to feel sympathetic towards this guy.

Catch a Fire? No thanks. I'd rather feel the burn from catching syphilis than watch that crap again.