Superbland Returns

This is one of those blog entries that I'm sure I'll get lambasted for, but I'm going to go ahead and do it.

I watched Superman Returns yesterday, and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't impressed. I certainly wouldn't go as far as the obsessed fan in Entertainment Weekly that called it "perfection on film." I'd be more apt to refer to it as "another crap Singer film."

It wasn't that the film was bad, it's just that it wasn't good. The sappy, over the top emotional scenes made me want to vomit. The expository dialogue was trite and forced, and basically not how anyone would ever talk, unless Brian Singer was in their brains. (Did I mention that I don't like Singer?) I honestly got bored at a few points, and I'm the guy that gushes about the 2-hour Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring Again where nothing happens for 2 hours! While some of the special effects were amazing, there were some total crap ones, and I'm beyond underwhelmed with special effects just for special effects sake.

Other rants: Superman's costume was ugly: the cape looked like a red Hefty garbage sack, his boots looked like chunky/tacky Sketchers from 10 years ago, and the logo looked like something from a REI catalogue made of new waterproof material. Lex Luthor's character got neutered somewhere along the lines, though that's Singer's fault, not Spacey's. Luthor, who should personify class, dignity, intelligence, and wealth, lacked all of those traits. He was now a bumbling buffoon that seduced old women for their money, and led a nondescript pack of non-threatening rogues. Parker Posey and Kal Penn's talents went unused. Penn didn't even get any dialogue, for hell's sake! The climax of the film was lame. I was still waiting for the big final climax when the credits started to roll. Anytime I leave a film thinking, "that's it?" I know that I'm not going to be happy.

Ugh! I could go on and on, but that's not healthy.

Instead, I'll just end by saying that I blame each and every failure of the movie on Singer. He created a brilliant story for The Usual Suspects, but that was the only decent thing he's done in his career. The only director/writer I think is worse than him is George Lucas.