Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Repressed Mormons

There are a lot of repressed Mormon kids where I live. A lot! They find themselves torn between the lives they want to lead, and the lives they are expected to lead. Usually, these lives are in complete contrast to each other. Molly Mormon wants to be Samantha Jones from Sex and the City, but instead is forced to lead a life of Kool-Aid Cosmos and WalMart fashion. Peter Priesthood wants to be James Bond, but instead is forced to lead a "dangerous" life of Mountain Dew and the occasional semi-scandalous American Eagle t-shirt.

One thing I'm always quick notice is the sexual repression. Trust me, there's nothing wrong with being an adult, and still being a virgin. Still being a virgin that whines about it constantly, and is always alluding to sexual situations is kind of lame. No, very lame. That's what I saw last night. I went with a friend to the going away party of this girl Megan. Megan is the typical Molly Mormon. Heck, she's even moving to Utah to wallow in all of the Utard glory. Anyway, she decided that we should play a game where we all write questions, and then take turns drawing them out of a hat and answering them. Okay...I'm game...but only for a short time. It was after the first round that I realized we were on a one way trip to Repressionville. "If you could have the best sex of your life, but it was with the ugliest person alive, would you do it?" "What's the sexiest part of another person's body?" "How many times have you had sex?" Blah, blah, blah...on and on it went.

It's the constant attention of the taboo that gets to me. If you want to have sex, do it, but be willing to deal with the consequences. If you're saving yourself for social or religious regions, good for you...just shut the hell up about it. The very thing you've been putting off has become a sick obsession, and to be frank, it's very repulsive. This, in turn, will help ensure that you won't get laid, and thus, reinforce your obsession. Welcome to the grand cycle of repression.