How to Make Techno Music in Your Head

1) Read a news article about French President Jacques Chirac.

2) Repeat the name "Jacques Chirac" over and over in a monotone voice at approximately 120 beats per minute.

3) Lay an imaginary bass groove over the mantra.

4) Mental percussion should randomly kick in soon.

5) For that DFA feel, add mental cowbell to the mix. Change the "Jacques Chirac" mantra's monotone to James's Murphy's trademark howl.

6) Sit back and groove to the music in your head.

7) (Optional) Use a banana or two as glow sticks to drive Rui crazy.

Ah, if only Apple's GarageBand was that easy.