Bristol History

While in Bristol, I got a free "graphic novel" at the comic shop. I was all excited, until I saw that it was some uber-shite infotainment gimmick about the inventor of the steam engine, Isambard Brunel. Saying I was unimpressed doesn't even begin to cover it. The only time infotainment has been good was when that little dog Wishbone did representations of classic novels on PBS. I loved that dog. His version of Ivanhoe was sublime.

Fast forward to tonight, where I needed some toilet time entertainment. The Crapic Novel was handy, so I took it in with me.

Here's what I learned:

Brunel smoked a cigar all the time. The authors didn't feel that they should censor this, but instead devote two pages to the evils of tobacco, and how it will kill you (much like booze, McDonalds, and loose women.) Okay... I added the last part.

Slavery was evil, but it's not so bad, because those damn Yanks did it for an extra 30 years after the UK did. Smug moralism is even better in 20/20 hindsight.

Apparently, some worm that looked remarkably like a flacid penis was eating the wood used in ships, and this lead to the invention of the steam engine somehow. One would have to actually read, and not skim, to find out the logistics. And yes, I did just say "flacid penis" and "eating wood" in the same sentence. Kudos to me.

The Brits called the French "frogs" because they used to eat frogs all the time. Just like the French called the Brits "rosbifs" (roast beefs). Kind of like Idahoans call Utahans "carrot snappers" or "Utards" or "Jowly McJowlyJowls" I guess.

This was the worst free item I've ever been given. I demand my money back!