Bachelor Parties and Pig Roasts

I don't want to go out tonight...but I'm obligated. I have to go to a bachelor party for my friend Andy in a few hours, but I don't want to. I also have to go buy him tools at Sears before I go. I'm not sure who started the tradition of having tool bachelor parties, but I'd like to smash their mouth with a monkeywrench. I'm tired of buying people stuff just because they're getting married. Someone should buy me gifts because I clipped my toenails this morning. Hey, they're equally silly reasons to get someone gifts.

I'm also supposed to go to the Anthropology Department's annual pig roast tonight, after the bachelor party (well, actually during the bachelor party...which got sprung on me last weekend...and I'm not happy.) Anyway, the Anthro club went all out, and has been roasting a whole pig in a buried fire pit since midnight last night. It sounds completely unsanitary to me, but I'm willing to give it a try.

Problem is, I don't want to do anything tonight. I'd much rather just lay on my couch and watch the "Firefly" DVDs. What a great show! Unfortunately, most people don't applaud my decisions to forego human contact for DVD watching.

Sorry, just had to whine.