Attn: Dartford Slapper

I was doing some research about STIs this afternoon at work when I came across the following information, which negates Charlie's "1500 calories in semen" theory. Sorry, love.

A typical ejaculation fills up about one teaspoon; the actual amount is determined by a man's age (younger men usually make more semen), when he last ejaculated, and how long he's aroused before ejaculating, among other factors. Contrary to what you've heard, semen is not loaded with calories. Each teaspoon of ejaculate has about 5 - 7 calories and some 200 - 500 million sperm.