Attack of the Glamazon Wannabe

There's a girl in my media studies class named Megan. Megan used to be a really cool girl, but she just isn't lately. I think it's because she's 6'2", and has a major chip on her shoulder. This is the kind of shoulder chip that could easily push her into angry feminist lesbianism, a la Vagina Monologues home performances. She think's she's a Glamazon woman, or a cliterati, but she's more of a drab bitch as of late.

Megan, if you happen to stumble upon this, here are a few recommendations to help you revise your image...

1) Lose the nasty spandex leggings. You may be fit, but they give you camel toe. Seriously, you could walk across the Sahara Desert on that thing. No one likes camel toe. No one.

2) Just because you lived in Portland, OR for about three months does not make you an expert on culture. You more or less ruined any illusion of being cultured when you committed the infraction of #1.

3) Being opinionated and political does not make you the new Janeane Garafolo. Even Janeane Garafolo isn't Janeane Garafolo anymore. This does not mean you get to be the new liberal version of Anne Coulter either. Remember, we're trying to lose the bitch image, not magnify it.

4) Stop talking about the BBC until you've at least visited their website, or watched more than 1/2 hour of BBCAmerica in the last year. I can't handle you mutilating what I said about the BBC three weeks ago in class anymore. Please, stop.

5) Two new words for you: Brevity and Tact. I'd suggest you look them up in a dictionary, and commit the definitions to memory.

If you follow my 5 suggestions, I think you'll soon find yourself on a path for success.

All the best,
Rick
(PS - Crash is right. Being mean IS fun!!)