Hey Ebert! Here’s What You Can Do With That Thumb!

Well, seeing as how I faked sick in order to sit around and watch movies, I thought I should at least make something productive of that time and write mini reviews for what I watched.

First, I caught up on Wonderfalls. This is a wonderful series that Fox (bastards) pulled after only showing four of the funnies episodes of television you’ll ever see. Crash commented a while ago that the first four weren’t even the funniest, and he wasn’t kidding. I’ve never seen anything as imaginative as this show, and it just makes it more depressing that they only made 13 episodes. However, I’ll continue to watch them through the modern magic of DVD, and you should too.

Second, I watched Being Julia. After watching this, I have no doubts about why the Academy nominated Annette Bening for best actress. I thought she could never top her performance in American Beauty, but this is special. She shows such a range of emotion and character, that you can’t help but fall in love with this woman. If I ever had the opportunity to make a movie, I’d want this amazing woman as a lead actress.

Next, I watched Closer. This is the one movie above all else I wanted to see this last fall, so of course it was the one that never played where I live. Three of the actors are tops on my list, with the exception of Natalie Portman at the time. Now, after seeing this piece, and her work on Garden State, I’m considering her a top-notch actress. Now, if only she’d ditch that Star Wars drivel, because she looks almost as bored as I do watching that crap. Anyway, back to the movie. I’m still not sure what I thought of it. I’ve had 24 hours to process it, but I still can’t make up my mind. Was it a morality play? Because I really wasn’t getting it, if it was. It was good, it was weird, it was sad, it was brutally honest, it was completely fake. I’m conflicted. See it, and make up your own mind. It’s definitely worth renting.

Finally, I watched Close Your Eyes, a pseudo-horror thriller. For some reason, it reminded me of that fantastic ballerina/witch movie Susperia, except that CYE wasn’t all that great. The Eastern European dude from ER was on it. It wasn’t a bad movie, it just wasn’t all that great. Worth renting if you’re bored, and it only costs a buck to rent, like how I found it. Oh, and Paddy Constadine was in it, but he played this creepy occult and toy soldier obsessed nerd. Uh...you’d have to see it to have it explained.

So, that’s what I’ve done this week. Productive, no?