Chronicles of Blah-nia

I'm disappointed. That's the best way to state my feelings after watching Chronicles of Narnia last night. It should have been an incredible movie that followed in the same vein as Lord of the Rings. I should have walked from the theatre feeling like taking up a sword against the legions of the White Witch. Instead, I just wanted to take up a sword against the director. So, because I was forced to see one of my favorite books be mangled horribly on film, here is a list of my complaints:

1) Just because you directed the two Shrek films does not mean that you're ready to direct a live-action film, and especially not one on such a grand scale. Direct a little indie... where you learn to actually DIRECT human beings... and then try a large scale film. I was amazed to see that the human actors looked more wooden and fake than the CG actors did around them.

2) Ray Winstone's the shiznit, but let's not make him read lines of dialogue written by a mentally retarded chav somewhere in London. Referring to Aslan as a "geezer?" Sheesh! They should be abashed!!!

3) Here's some other UK slang for you: minger. It means "one who is ugly as hell," such as the girl that played Lucy. Damn! Seriously, who picked these ugly ass kids? I know for certain that there are better looking people in the UK, and they obviously weren't picked for their fine acting skills. Nor at any time did I identify with these kids, or not want them to die harshly and severly at the hands of the White Witch. I just wanted to go to Narnia to slap Susan around for a good twenty minutes, letting her know that no one likes an uppity whiney-ass bitch. *whack!*

4) Why the hell did the White Witch have nasty dreadlocks? Dear UK: please stop this ridiculous trend of white people with dreadlocks!!!! Actually, Dear World: dreadlocks are disgusting. Please knock it off.

5) Obviously WETA Workshop does their best work under the watchful eye of Peter Jackson. Then again, his best people were a little preoccupied with King Kong, so Chronicles of Narnia probably got the digital effects sloppy seconds.

So, was there anything that you maybe did like, Rick?

1) Tilda Swinton: what a great actress! Even with what was obviously some of the worst directing in Hollywood today, she still shines and manages to steal every scene that she's in. Despite having to wear horrible costumes that made her shoulders look like they'd been borrowed from a linebacker, she still looked good. Tilda Swinton made the White Witch the cold hard bitch she needed to be.

2) None of the gawd-awful Contemporary Christian Music on the soundtrack actually made it into the film. And the crowds issued a mighty "hallelujah!" However, it should be noted that the pimping of Jesus will have a mighty upswing in the near future with the release of a CS Lewis film... even if it was very poorly done.

Lisbians, Lisbians Everywhere

This weekend has been a fun-filled adventure here in Portugal. Since I last blogged, I've dined at hip Lisboa restauruants, drank a lot of straight espresso shots, traveled to the center of Portugal, ate blood sausage, ate fat sausage, drank liquor made from manure (seriously!), walked in a monastery built by the Knights Templar, and watched a movie in Lisbon. Oh, and to top it off, I didn't have a bowel movement for almost a week. Ack!

All in all, it's been an incredible time here in Lisbon so far. I've seen things I never thought I would, and ate things I never thought I would. Am I actually learning to have an adventurous spirit? Now pass me the blood sausage... I'm hungry!

On being poor white trash...

Iºve never felt like poor white trash as much as I did wandering the trendy shopping district of Lisbon yesterday. As I wandered by Hugo Boss, Louis Vuitton, and other trendy shops Iºve never heard of (but certainly looked comparable) I suddenly felt like an absolute nobody. Suddenly my Gap shirt and trousers just werenºt very nice. My new Vans have cool factor galore, but certainly not in those shops. I was so embarassed that I didnºt even go into the shops. I just looked in the window and drooled at the black pinstripe wool driving coat, and gasped aloud at the 700 Euro price tag.

Then, thankfully, I found H & M, who has nice clothes at reasonable prices. I might go back there and get a sweater I was looking at. It was only 20 Euros, and dammit, even this white trash can afford that.

PS I am typing this on Ruiºs laptop, and thus the use of a degree sign instead of an apostrophe.

Picture This

I'm posting a few random photos, just because I haven't for a while.

This photo was taken at the City Centre market. The sign had Syndie and I in stitches. The weird thing is, it has the same inuendo over here, but we were the only ones laughing. Oh well.

This is Charlie and I on my birthday. Charlie gave me a hilarious card, and the fun purple fluffy "R" pen.

This is the Plymouth Hoe's lighthouse at sunset one afternoon. I'd say night, but the sun sets about 4pm over here. Watching the sun set at the Hoe over the ocean has a very cathartic effect on my heart. Suddenly, I can go to the City Centre and not feel the excessive need to hockey check the chavs that walk directly into me. I can shrug it off and go on my merry way.

Christmas and New Years

I just want to wish everyone a good Holiday season (Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Kwanzaa, whatever else you may subscribe to) and a Happy New Year!

I'll be leaving Monday morning at 3am on a train to London, and then hopping on a plane for sunny Lisbon, Portugal. I'll be spending Christmas with Rui and his family, and then bumming around Lisbon for about a week. I'm excited for the trip, and think it will be a lot of fun. If nothing else, I can now say that I've been to continental Europe, and not feel like a complete waste for not seeing much of the world while I've been here so far.

I'll then be leaving the Lisbians (teehee) on the 31st to arrive in London. I'll be hanging out with Syndie and Lady Charlie for New Years shenanigans. We've decided that even if we're just wandering the streets doing nothing, we can say that we spent New Years Eve in London. That's hot. Chances are, we'll be looking down the entire time, avoiding stepping in vomit, since the British seem to have a penchant for spraying vomit all over the streets, and just leaving it. Gross, I know. I look at the ground a lot at night now.

I'm excited to have this break (though not from work... that's another long story.) I can sleep without Sarah's drunk ass waking me at 3am, and no crappy thumpa-thumpa trance from Laura's room all hours of the day. Hooray!! Now, if only I could find some quality time to sit on a couch alone in my underwear, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I'd be a very happy man.

On turning 29

My life isn't where I thought it would be at this age. I figured I'd have made more of it by now. And while I don't really regret being where I'm at, during this stage of life, I do look back at my time here on earth and wonder if it could have been better served. Ah... such is life.

My friends here in Plymouth surprised me with a fantastic birthday full of activities. I'll do a minute breakdown of the events for you, because I know everyone loves the minute details of my life as much as I do. Ha!

Dinner: Rui and I went to an early dinner at the Ganges. The Ganges is an Indian place not too far from my flat that gives you 50% off the price of food if you dine in. I don't get it... it should be the other way around. However, not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I dine and appreciate my hearty discount.

Concert: After dinner, Rui surprised me with tickets to see the Chemical Brothers. I'd not gotten tickets to the show, because I figured it would just be two guys twirling knobs to a pre-recorded track. I was pleasantly surprised by the most amazing video display that I've ever seen. I was awestruck by some of the video scenes that they used, and just stood with my mouth open while people raved around me. At one point, the video was so incredibly moving, I started feeling that teary tingling around the edges of my eyes. Yeah... I'm a huge dork.

Party: After the concert, I came back to a surprise party that my friends here were nice enough to throw for me. It's the first surprise party I've ever had. It was also the first birthday party I've had since I turned 21. It just made the whole day that much more special. Syndie's blogged a great entry about the birthday party here.

All in all, it was a great day. I'm now teetering on the edge of 30, still not knowing what I'm going to do with my life, but for one great day, it didn't matter at all.

League of Gentlemen

Rui clued me in to the League of Gentlemen a few weeks ago. It was a British dark-comedy that aired over here a few years ago. I remember hearing about it in the US, but never caught it on BBCAmerica, becuase my sister dumped her satellite before it was aired in the US.

Anyway, last night, Rui surprised me by taking me to see the live performance they did here at the Plymouth Pavillions. The show was pretty good, and was definitely funny, but unfortunately the sound wasn't all that great.

If you have the chance to see the show, it's definitely worth it. Just be warned that it's a very dark comedy... very dark. It's also kind of like X-files with comedy mixed in, so that may throw some people off. I need to see more than just the first series though.

Stayin' Alive!

Hey everyone. I know that some of you are probably wondering if I'm still alive, and what the hell's happened to me in the last month. Time just seems to have been flying lately. Last thing I knew, it was the middle of October, and then I blinked, and it's the end of November! I can't believe I turn 29 in a little over a week! EEKS!!

Halloween consisted of two separate events here. The night before Halloween, Syndie and I dressed up and went to Sing-A-Long Rocky Horror Picture Show, which was incredibly fun. I'd never been to a showing of RHPS where people went all-out before. This one had the squirt guns, screaming, dressing up, etc... it had it all. The next night, we went to a small party at my Portuguese friend Rui's home. The pic above is Rui and I dressed up. I went as BabyDaddy from the Scissor Sisters, and yes, I did buy that hat...and do continue to wear it...thank you very much.

Since then, time has been flying. I've been keeping up with school and keeping up with life in general. Because of a Visa problem, my bank account got locked up over here for a long time, and I had to get that sorted out. Basically, Heathrow wrote the wrong date, and messed things up big time. I had to get them to acknowledge said mistake and put it in writing. Hopefully rude customs lady got in big trouble over her mistake.

I'm currently trying to make plans for Christmas. I might go to Portugal to stay with Rui, or may go on a trip to Scotland. Money's the big deciding issue right now. New Years will be spent with Syndie and Charlie in London. Whooo!

I've got more to share, but I have to run for now. Just thought people might like to know that they didnt' fish my dead body out of the Barbican here in Plymouth.

Cheers!
Rick

National Aquarium Trip

I joined the International Student Society here at UP a week ago. I mainly did it because there were promises of discounted trips around the area for sight seeing.

So, yesterday, the ISS gave us the opportunity to visit the National Aquarium in Plymouth for 1/2 price! I of course jumped at the opportunity, despite the fact it would seriouly cut into my afternoon kip time.

The National Aquarium was a lot of fun, and pretty cool. Admittedly, I've been ruined by the Seattle Aquarium, which is huge, and a trip to Sea World a few years ago. There were some incredibly interesting things, like a huge shark that kept swimming directly over Syndie and I, and a pickled giant squid! (See Picture Above) This is the only giant squid to have washed onto land in the UK, and I got to see it. The thing was huge! Counting the tentacles, it was about 8 feet long, and this was a smaller giant squid!

Here's a picture of Plymouth from the Barbican District outside the Aquarium. The Barbican is the posh historic district, with lots of interesting shops and expensive eateries. Anyway, you get to see how pretty Plymouth is, and get a better idea of how big the city is too.

Dear Sweet McKitten!

Another thing that made this week good was the demise of the pink sheets and the arrival of a mysterious package! Hooray!!

I checked my Yahoo IM last Sunday to find that McKitten had wrote saying she had sent me a care package! I anxiously awaited the package to arrive. When I got in on Monday, I saw a package from the US in the main office. Sadly, the package was held hostage in said office until Tuesday morning when I could rescue it from the clutches of the hoarding bandits (or is that whoreding? I don't like them much.)

I tore into the package, and to my surprise, it was the BEST CARE PACKAGE EVER!!! Inside were all manner of bedding for me to replace the pink sheets! New sheets, duvet covers, an incredibly soft blanket, throw pillows, world's smallest kite(!), some great DVDs, and Peanut Butter!!! God Bless the USA!!!

McKitten way outdid herself in showering me in all that love. Seriously, I've never felt so loved as I did when I opened that box and saw all of the amazing stuff inside. And the card...ah, the card! Made this bear's heart melt and his eyes mist up.

So, a huge THANK YOU to McKitten for taking such good care of me, and rescuing me from the horrors of the pink sheets!

Idaho Squared

I know I've been a little remiss in my blogging duties lately. I've been so busy with school, life, fighting with my new bank, and other things, that I haven't even thought of the blog until today!

This last week has been really fun. It started Monday afternoon when our doorbell rang. I opened the door to someone with an American voice saying, "I heard there's someone from Idaho here! Is that true?" I told her it was me, and discovered that she, Syndie, is from Idaho Falls! She's also an ISU student, here on an exchange. Then, it gets crazier. Not only have we been living literally right down the hall from each other for almost a month now, and never bumped into each other, but we discovered that she dated my cousin for a while!!! We used to hang out at a lot of the same places, but never met until we got here.

It's been great hanging out with Syndie this week. It's comforting to talk of things back home, speak American, and experience culture shock together. It's been interesting how we've both experienced all of our insecurities in life being thrown in our face the last week or so. I'm glad we've got each other to talk these things through.

Friday night, we went to the club to go dancing. Syndie and I danced for 3 hours straight. It's a good thing I have to walk everywhere now, or I'd have collapsed from exhaustion! We snapped the picture before we were covered in sweat, which definitely happened. This humidity thing is weird!

So, it's been great making a new friendship this week, that is both new and exciting, but comfortable and reasuring at the same time.

Excited about classes

I'm excited about a few things I'll get to do in my classes this year. I'll have a couple of opportunities that I would never have gotten if I'd stayed at ISU this semester.

First, I get a full year to work on my documentary, rather than just one semester. And actually, I think I would have just made a 3 minute short video for FilmStyle production back at ISU. Having the full year will give me the time to do quality research, get quality interviews, and really make this a showpiece worthy work of art.

Second, I'll get the opportunity to really shoot something on film. Not just DV, but actual film. Processed, developed, and projected film! I'm so excited! Film is so different than DV, and having this in my resume looks so good. Besides, no matter how good the Panasonic DVX series gets, it won't look 100% like film.

Third, I'll get to be trained in Adobe AfterEffects. I've whined at the Mass Comm department for not teaching us this software, and how it sets us at a disadvantage in the work field. A lot of people are using AfterEffects, and I'll get hands on training to know how to do something with it.

Fourth, I have a class where we just watch movies, talk about them afterwards, and write a few papers now and then. Does it get any better than that? Today we watched the French film "Breathless" from the 50's. It was pretty good, but due to a lot of circumstances, I was sleep deprived/sick, so I kept nodding off.

So, overall it looks like I made a very important educational decision.

Awww... it breaks my heart

BritBrat got her mid-terms on Friday- 7 As and one B-. I was really glad, especially since one of the As is in her AP Biology class. I think she misses you the most out of everyone in the entire family, and we all miss you lots.

It's funny. Your 15-year-old niece isn't supposed to be one of your closest friends. She's not supposed to tell you that you're the older brother she never had right before you leave for the airport. You're not supposed to hate Sunday afternoons because you can't call and talk to her like usual.

I miss my BritBrat!!

iTunes Tracker

Darn iTunes. It can be too helpful sometimes. I just noticed that I've listened to Travis's "Love Will Come Through" 35 times in the 48 hours since I found it on the internet on Saturday.

I heard a rumor the song can be found here. Pure speculation, of course.

I'm the Firestarter, Twisted Firestarter

I missed out on Saturday night. I didn't quite understand what was going on in the Student Union. Everone was cramming in the Illusion to watch three girls singing, talking about what was going to happen in a little bit. I didn't care. I was too cool. I missed out.

It was last night that I talked to Laura and found out what happened in the SU. The Prodigy played a free concert. Remember "Firestarter" from about 10 years ago? Yeah, those guys. I missed it. AAArrrgh!

"Developmentally Disabled" Shopping

I went on a major grocery shopping trip on Saturday. Well, as major as you can allow yourself when you remember that you have to carry the groceries home the mile and a half to your flat. I didn't have any food at that point though, so I desperately needed to make some purchases. You can only eat toasted bagette sandwiches so many times at Jake's before your bank account feels it.

As I was shopping in the large grocery store (we finally found where it was), I felt like I'd been struck with a "developmental disability." That's mentally retarded for anyone that grew up before the horror of political correctness in the 90s. I was looking at the food, but nothing looked right. I'd see similar packages, but instead of saying Lay's Chips, it said Walker's Crisps. The Mexican food section consisted of one type of enchilada sauce, and one type of refried beans. I'd find something I wanted, such as some cheese, but the cheddar was white and scared me. I was on sensory overload, and I couldn't handle it after a while. Anyone that's ever gone grocery shopping with me can attest that it's almost an ordeal for me anyway, but doing it in a foreign country was almost enough to send me into an epileptic seizure. I don't want to go grocery shopping again.

Thanks

Thanks everyone for the kind comments. I really appreciate it.

Things have been going better the last few days. I haven't had to watch any movies about America lately, so that's been a big help. I'm also feeling a little more settled over the last few days. I bought hangers finally, so the bags are unpacked, the shirts are hung, and the suitcases are hidden away. The room's looking like a room, rather than a hotel.

Crying in Class

Today was my first day of class here at UP, and I had documentary class this morning. We talked for a bit about the documentary we'll have to make through the course of the year, and then we watched "Bowling for Columbine" as an example of a good documentary. We were supposed to be watching it to notice all of the different styles that Michael Moore uses in his docs.

I'd never seen it before, and it left me thinking "Damn. America's messed up!"

But then, all of the sudden, I got so homesick I couldn't handle it. I'd try not to think about it, and think of something else, and inevitably, that something else would remind me of something that made me even sadder. So, in the back of the dark room, Rick started to cry because he was missing home so bad.

Poetry Contest

Just because I'm bored (can you tell classes haven't started yet?) I thought I should have a poetry contest on the blog. Since it's my contest, I thought a haiku contest would be fun. There's no prize in this contest, except for the knowledge that you posted something really cool in the comments section, and that you're smarter than all the other kids. Basically, nyah nyah nyah nyah bragging rights.

Here are a few examples. Haiku have the form of 5 syllables on the first line, 7 on the second, and 5 again on the third and final line.

Hi Pocatello.
I lament that I'm not there.
Keep me in your heart.

England: Your food sucks.
I want real peanut butter
not your awful crap.

Pink sheets on my bed
make me angry and bitter.
Send me new sheets now.

Saturday pub crawl
leaves me feeling really good.
Making out is fun.

Yay Lindsay Lohan!
It looks like you ate some food!
Help the Olsens now.

I'm sure that the smart and witty readers of Blandella will be able to come up with much better than those feeble attempts at poetic greatness. Oh, and any dirty ones that aren't signed I will just assume were written by M or S.

Volunteering and Pub Crawls

Only in England would one lead to the other.

I went with the ViP group on campus (Volunteers in Plymouth) yesterday to clean up the Japanese garden at a local hospital. I really didn't want to go, but Sarah reminded me that it'd be a good way to meet people, and get me out of the flat on a Saturday.

It actually was a good time, and it felt nice to be productive.

When the group got back to campus, we decided to go across the street to Cuba! and grab a pint. As we were sitting around, Nic, the leader of the ViP, decided he should take us out on our first official pub crawl. We started at 6pm. I have no idea what time we ended.

There are some interesting drinks in England that you can't get in the US. First is a snakebite, which is 1/2 lager and 1/2 cider. Both halves combine to form a super-hero wicked tonic that'll get you pretty smashed. Then, there's the fishbowl at Cuba!, which is a punch bowl sized drink full of every hard liquor you can imagine with a bunch of orange juice and tonic. Finally, there's the terminator. It's pretty much a super-fishbowl in a handy pint. I didn't try that one, and I'm glad. The girls that had been sober were all completely pissed after the terminator.

I decided to play it more conservative last night, and I'm glad I did. It made for a much more interesting evening, watching Sarah go from happy/giggle drunk to raging angry/aggressive drunk after the terminator, and watching Sam spray vomit all over the couch at Zeros. What a night!

Cross Your Fingers

I might *might* get to see LCD Soundsystem in December in London. They're playing at a club there, and Mike in London (MiL) might have an extra ticket if his mate backs out. I should know in a few days.

The best part is, LCD Soundsystem, fronted by the incredibly talented James Murphy will by playing London on MY BIRTHDAY! YAY!!

LCD Soundsystem, London, Birthday...could it get any better? Oh yeah...if S, W, MK, JftB, M, and T were all there with me. That would be heaven.

Duvets and Bank Accounts

I went this morning to start a new bank account here in England. Currently I'm stuck using my bank account in the US, and they're not really thrilled to have to convert the money for my purchases. I have some cash that I brought over, so I've been using that in the meantime. So, I go to the bank, but find out that I'm one of thousands clamouring for a new account. I had to set up a meeting for Tuesday afternoon to set up the account. Hopefully it's not too big of an ordeal, but I've heard it can be a pain setting up an account as an international citizen. I have to remember to take my passport with me.

I really wanted to go shopping for a new duvet cover this afternoon. The salmon/peach cover is driving me nuts. I'm not sure why it bugs me so bad, but it really does. Anyway, I found that there's a TK Maxx not too far away. Yeah, that's not a typo. TJ Maxx is alive and well here in England, but somehow the J got transposed to a K. It's the exact same store though, so I'm not complaining. It's where I bought all sorts of stuff back in Pocatello. Maybe I'll make it down there tomorrow and see if I can find a cheap duvet in a nice green or blue. Heck, I'd even take Power Rangers duvet covers over the pink one now.

Oh, and Gmail is having problems. I haven't been able to check my email there since early yesterday. Hopfully it's fixed soon. I'm thrilled that they keep offering more space in the email every day, but I'd rather have email that worked consistently. This seems to happen a little too often for my liking.

Hooray and Boo

Hooray: I finally feel like things fell into place for school this afternoon. I went to a meeting this morning for the freshers (freshmen) and met the various faculty in my department, and got a tour of the facilities. The faculty weren't very happy that I crashed the little party, but hey, it's their fault that they haven't communicated with me at all previous to that time. Then, I had a meeting where I discovered how to go about signing up for classes. One of the ones I have to do is a repeat of a class I had last year, but it should be okay. I have a documentary class that should be fun, and a couple of indie film classes that should be really insightful. I'm looking forward to classes starting next week.

Boo: The fact that Blogger is having all kinds of issues today. I'm not able to access the blogs at all today, and I'm not even sure that this will post. It's kind of frustrating to write something, with the possiblity that it might not even show up.

Editor's Note: This was actually posted yesterday, but due to problems with Blogger, never got posted. The BOO entry just went up ten-fold.

On beer and mad cow disease

Here's the bombed out church that I've been talking about. Aparently it really was bombed out, but not by the IRA as I had been imagining. This church was the victim of a bomb attack during WWII. Isn't it crazy to think that I'm seeing a church that was a victim of WWII? Well, it is for me. Unfortunately, this picture isn't the greatest. The church looks best at night when it's all lit up and has a mixture of beauty and horror to it. It's brilliant!

Here's a picture of my flatmate Sarah. She dragged me out of the flat on Monday to go to the Student Union and watch football for a while. It was interesting sitting on campus, drinking beer with 300+ other students while watching them cheer on the Arsenal football team. It's weird that there are like three pubs on campus, and that you can just drink anywhere. Students are often in the open area outside drinking a pint. After we left the SUB, we went to a club called the Walkabout. There was a band playing, who Saz told me was the Kaiser Chiefs. I was really excited, until I learned they were just covering the Kaiser Chiefs for a while. They were a good band, but the Kaiser Chiefs would have been better.

Craving a bit of home this afternoon, I went to McDonalds. We have one close to campus, as well as a Burger King. Sadly, no double-cheeseburger for $1. I was surprised how small my extra value meal was. I got a medium, but it was only small size. No wonder they're so skinny over here, and we're so fat in America. God bless America though, with our 32oz soft drinks. It was halfway through my burger though when the thought of mad cow disease popped into my head. I'm sure I'll be fine, but if I mysteriously die in a year...I blogged about it here.

Photolog

This entry will once again harken to the days when I had a short-lived photolog going. This first picture is from Paddington train station. This is the train I rode from Heathrow, and the same station I would catch the train to Plymouth in. According to my sister, this is where the brick post for the Harry Potter movies was shot, but I sure as hell didn't see any brick columns. This is also where Paddington Bear is from. I could have taken my picture with a statue, but I was tired and looked like crap at the moment. Sorry.

Here's the kinds of buildings that line the street where I live. I don't have an actual picture of my accommodation house, because people were giving me that "are you smoking crack" look. Almost all of the buildings have shops in the bottom, and housing above them. It's like old town Pocatello, where things where economical, if only in use of space.

Time change:

I forgot to say that Plymouth is 7 hours ahead of Idaho. So, add a seven to the time you see posted on my blog to figure out what time I really posted.

Unfortunately, 7 hours is killer when it comes to jet lag. I slept all night last night, but I'm still really tired. I slept until almost noon, and then realized it was only 5am my time. Now wonder I was still sleepy. I felt hungover all day, without ever drinking. Sarah really helped by offering me "a spot of tea" that worked wonders. Hopefully, this whole jet lag thing passes soon.

First post from the UK

Good golly Miss Molly! I can't believe I haven't posted anything on here for nearly a month! No wonder I can't keep any readers or relationships. I obviously have issues with committment.

Anyway, I'm writing from my dorm room in Plymouth, Devon, England. My dorm room resembles a slightly posh convent cell. A bed, nightstand, desk, sink, and closet is all it contains. The two suitcases on the floor are the best articles of decoration I've got going on right now. Oh. And because I have to complain about it...they gave me pink sheets. I bought a "welcome kit" that provided bedding and kitchen items, because it was easier than finding it myself. So, I open it last night to find they'd given me pinkish salmon (really ugly) sheets. The flat sheet is also this really weird sleeping bag type of thing that I dont understand. So, if anyone's in a magnanimous mood, please feel free to send me some nice, normal sheets. Twin size.

I'm going out with two of my flatmates tonight. Sarah and Sam. They're both British girls that are really nice. They took me on a quick tour of the shopping district today, including sights of the lovely grocery store (where I recognized hardly anything) to the pastys shop. That's pronounced "pass-tees" not "paste-ees". They're little meat pies, a la fancy Hot Pockets, not the tassled nipple covers that strippers use. I have two other flatmates, Tim and Ye. Tim's a quiet guy that apparently isn't around much. Ye's nice, but his english is really bad, so it's hard to talk to him.

Plymouth is a much bigger place than I had the impression it was. I was thinking it was comparable to Pocatello, but it's actually somewhere between Boise and SLC, ranging closer to SLC. It's also incredibly beautiful here. It's really green, with rolling hills, and reminds me a lot of Porland, Oregon. The architecture here is amazing too. There are some amazing churches, including a beautiful church ruin near my place that was rumored to have burned in a bombing. I'm still checking on that little rumor. Somehow though, the flamed ruins stoke the imagination and make a lovely impression on your mind. I'll get pics soon and post them.

Well, I should run. I'm supposed to go to the pub with Sarah and Sam in a bit and meet some people. I need to go find some dinner first.

If you'd like my mailing address, feel free to drop me a line by email and I'll send it to you. I'm not going to post it because you Americans are notorious for sending anthrax by post, and I don't need that while I'm here.

Jack the Ripper

Note: Ripping Christmas CDs in August can put you in a funky mood. A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra has the best Jingle Bells ever.

Note: Finding CDs you haven't listened to in years is fun. That Luscious Jackson CD I'd gotten so bored with is now refreshing and fun. Whoo!

Note: PowerBook dvd drives get pretty warm when they're ripping cds all morning.

Running System Updates:

I can't believe it's been since Saturday that I last blogged. For some reason, I thought I'd posted something on Tuesday, but apparently didn't. I didn't even save anything as a draft. Hmmm....funny.

So, since it's been a while, and I don't have much time now, I'll post a quick update:

♥ I did end up going to my 10-year reunion on Saturday. It was actually much better than I thought it would be. It was interesting to see some of those people after so long, but was kind of odd to discover that I live in the same town as a number of them, and haven't seen them for 10 years. It was also good catching up with friends, especially Courtney and Chris.

♥ I have to move out of my apartment this weekend. I'm all stressed out with all that I have to do, but can't seem to find any motivation to take care of things. It's going to be a long weekend.

♥ I got an email today from UP saying that they never received my housing application (that I sent in twice now) and that I'll have to get an off-campus apartment when I arrive. Great. I arrive in the middle of a Sunday afternoon. What the hell am I going to do? (Currently having major second thoughts about the whole England thing, since there seems to be a new extreme problem every week.)

♥ The iPod and I are getting along marvelously. I will hopefully rip the last of my CDs onto my PowerBook this morning at work. I don't necessarily want to do it at work, but there's internet here so I don't have to type in all of the album info.

♥ I'm currently sipping on an incredible Mexican Mocha from The College Market coffee shop. MMMMMMmmmmmmmm....it's so darn tasty! It was on special today too.

Reunion

Today's my 10 year high school reunion. I'd put it out of my mind. Much like puberty, high school was not kind to me. I don't really want to go back and relive all of the joys of that time.

My old pal just called me to see if I was going. I don't want to. Part of me does. Yuck. I haven't accomplished much with my life since then. No significant other, no kids, no home, no real job, no degree, no money. Wow...my life's really lame when I put it into terms like that.

Goodbye Money...

hello new iPod Photo!

So, I broke down and got an iPod last night. I know, I know...it's about time. I've been whining about wanting one since I started this blog.

I had full intentions of ordering my iPod off of apple.com on Monday, but I visited Best Buy last night. They had a 30GB 1st Gen iPod Photo on clearance for $330, so I was interested in it. They found out that the only model they had was the display model, and were missing all of the cords, paperwork, software, etc. So, the manager offered me 10% off of a new 2nd Gen iPod. Since that's the same discount I would have gotten online, I went for it. I missed out on laser engraving, but that's okay. Like the old addage says, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. At least, I hope that's the point of that old saying. It never really made sense to me.

Currently, I'm ripping all of my cds in a mad frenzy, so that I can get some serious tunage on my iPod this afternoon.

St. Teresa

It looks like I might be in St. Teresa hall this year at University of Plymouth. *keeping fingers crossed that I even get housing at UP*

Weird. How did they know St. Teresa is my favorite Joan Osbourne song?

St. Teresa hall is where most of the older students and international students live, and is closest to the activity center of the town. Sounds like a good fit for me.

Oh, and I thought I had a grasp on British English until I was applying for housing. There are all sorts of weird terms for housing contracts, so I got all confused. They also factor rent on a weekly basis, rather than a monthly one.

Husky Rescue

New Band of the Week: Husky Rescue

I just found these guys while I was goofing around with the RealPlayer. They're a "blissed out, swirling folk pop" act from Finland. They're kind of depressing, but uplifting at the same time. Kind of like the movie American Beauty, except that it's a purely aural experience.

I really like their song "Sweet Little Kitten," because it reminds me of MK.

Sunday Becomes Ecclectic

I'm in the process of ripping all of my CDs onto my laptop so that I have all of my music in England. It just isn't feasible to carry stacks of CDs around Europe with me, and I'm still in the consideration of an iPod.

While I've been ripping my CDs, I've realized I have fairly ecclectic taste. Here's a list of CDs I'm getting on the PowerBook today:

Beth Orton: Trailer Park
The Black Crowes: Greatest Hits 1990-1999
Radiohead: The Bends
Frank Sinatra: The Heart of the Matter (Love Songs Collection)
The Strokes: Is This It?
Frank Sinatra: His Great Performances
Starbucks Songs From the Open Road: Mile Marker 383
Lenny Kravitz: Circus
Avril Lavigne: Let Go (Gulp! I actually own this!)
Rage Against the Machine: The Battle of Los Angeles
Kenna: New Sacred Cow

Artist of the Day: Friday

In this last and final entry of "Artist of the Day", I'm giving public accolade to the creative mind of Sarina Brewer. Sarina is doing new work with taxidermy to create fantasy creatures.

Here is Brewer's beautiful Capricorn creation. I know that I've blogged about Brewer's work before, but it's just so good that I have to give it another plug. If any reader feels inclined, I'm still accepting gifts of either the capricorn or the griffin.

Wanted Poster

I went out with the boys last night, and while it was a lot of fun, there was definitely something missing. These three were missing. So, I've decided to put out a wanted poster. These three are wanted alive, and the reward for their capture is a life-long friendship.

Artist(s) O' the Day: Thursday

Today's featured artist is a collective of artists known as Digital Kitchen. Digital Kitchen has done some incredible work in television and film lately. I first discovered DK when I watched the intro to "Six Feet Under." DK created one of the most memorable intros to a television show I've ever seen. Then, as if to one up themselves, they created just as incredibly well thought out intros for "Kingdom Hospital" (yes, the show was horrible, but the intro is still amazing) and the intro for Fox's "House." DK has also done a number of creative commercials and other work. Recently, they created the incredible intro for the Tour de France coverage in the US.

I'm glad to see that DK as been nominated for two Emmys this year for their hard work. Congratulations!

To see the creative works of DK, please visit their website, and go to the section labeled "Work." It's all flash based, so I couldn't get pictures.

Artist of the Day: Wednesday

Today's featured artist is the talented Kristen Ulve. I first learned about Ulve last spring, when I saw one of her illustrations in Entertainment Weekly.

I'm assuming that Ulve uses Illustrator or another piece of graphic software to design her work. I love Ulve's hands that she gives her people, and the big eyes. It's been interesting, because I've seen copycats of her work springing up a lot lately.

So, congrats Kristen, for being artist of the day.

Artist O' the Day: Tuesday

Today's artist is someone I should have known about a few years ago, but just discovered recently, thanks to S. Matthew Barney, creator of the Cremaster Cycle movies, is a visionary genius/nutjob that's making some incredible movies.

Admittedly, I've only seen a 30 minute segment of Cremaster 3, but I'm amazed at his artistic filmwork. Also, I'm impressed that he shot Cremaster 3 on 24p DV three years ago, using the Sony CineAlta cameras *drool drool*. This was before Lucas and Rodriguez pushed the envelope by using 24p DV.

I must say that I'm incredibly disappointed with the Mass Communications department. How come none of the professors told me about Matthew Barney, especially since he was raised in Idaho? They didn't need to encourage me to create video as odd as Barney's, but a little nudge in that direction could have opened new worlds to me. Instead, I'm making comedies about men in kilts, while Barney is making escapist-fantasy works of art featuring guys in kilts.

"But wait!" you say. "Isn't this Blandella? Isn't it a celebration of mediocrity and banality in your life?" True, true. I just wish that the celebration wasn't quite so powerful at times.

Artist O' the Day

Banksy

British "art terrorist" known for his intricate graffiti-stencil work, and for hanging up false works of art in major museums.

Logan

I met this young man last night, when I was having frozen yogurt with his parents. Logan's daddy and I are good friends, and former roommates. It was nice meeting Logan, even though he could use some work on his conversational skills. Time should help with that though.

Why Do They Leave?

Oh, why do they leave?
Oh, why do they leave?
On the day that you needed them the most
Simple cards and things
Rose-colored sunsets, no flowers for me
Simple cards and things
Rose-colored sunsets, no flowers for me

Lover, why do you leave
Lover, why do you leave
On the day I want you for me?

Say, say it ain't so
That he will take you tomorrow
And I will sit here today (The worst)
Simple cards and things
Rose-colored sunsets, no flowers for me
Simple cards and things
Rose-colored sunsets, Curtains for me

Lover, why do you leave
Lover, why do you leave
On the day I want you to be
The one

"Why Do They Leave?" by Ryan Adams

T., M., and MK all left this morning to go back to California. It's incredible to me that I really only knew the three of them for a little over a month, but I feel like they occupy a huge place in my heart. They made me laugh, smile, dance, sing, and feel alive this summer. I can't thank them enough for all that they gave to me over the time I knew them...especially the love they showed me. They're all special people, and I care deeply for them.

It'll be weird this week, not having them around. No goodnight kisses from M and MK. No goodnight hug from T. Man, I miss them so much already. I'm sitting here in the coffee shop trying not to cry. It doesn't help that I'm listening to the "MK's Cry Time" disc of sad songs that I made for MK. It was supposed to help her cry, if she ever needed a good release of tears.

And suddenly, next June can't come fast enough.

Chocolate

This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25

This is the straw, final straw in the
Roof of my mouth as I lie to you
Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean
I didn't enjoy it at the time

You're the only thing that I love
It scares me more every day
On my knees I think clearer

Goodness knows I saw it coming
Or at least I'll claim I did
But in truth I'm lost for words

What have I done it's too late for that
What have I become truth is nothing yet
A simple mistake starts the hardest time
I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time

"Chocolate" by Snow Patrol

Apology to J. Ho

Jenny from the Block! I deeply apologize that I haven't returned your phone call yet. I keep forgetting until it's way too late to give you a call. Stupid Eastern Standard Time! I'm sorry...and I'll try to give you a call soon.

I got your post card the other day too. Thanks! *grin* You're such a sweetheart!

CD Cover Creation

I've gotten a wild bug up my rump to start creating mix CDs for friends lately (and I need to make one for J. Ho very soon!) This is the cover I made for the mix disc created for C's birthday gift.

I'm currently working on both another mix disc, as well as another cover. It's nice to know that art/design can be fun, when you're doing it for yourself, rather than school/work.

PS - I'm not sure why, but parts of this look completely different in the jpg than they do on the original file. The fonts are all goofy - like the stroke on the title being WAY off and the drop-shadow hell!

Mas Pollo, Por Favor!

S. reinvigorated the masses last night with a redux of the classic chicken bbq magic he does so well. It was C.'s birthday, and there was a discussion about making it a great night...so certainly Limetastic Chicken De S. was in order. There had been discussion of a birthday dinner at Sizzler, but that affront to tastebuds everywhere was thankfully axed.

Everyone then pretended that they had to call it an early evening, and we met later for a surprise B-Day party for C. You could definitely see the disappointment on C's face as he thought he was being ditched on his momentous occasion. There's nothing like coming to Idaho for your birthday, only to be ditched by everyone and told you'll spend the evening watching the Food Network...if you're lucky.

Mwahaha! We're much too sneaky and always on the prowl for a good time to let a prime opportunity like a B-Day party pass by. Hopefully C. really did enjoy his surprise party, and the rest of his stay here in Idaho.

He Touched Your Breasts?

In honour of S. cooking us some of the most rockin' chicken that I've ever had, I'm posting a pic of the grilling process. Those are limes on the chicken. Limes! Maybe it's my English ancestry, but flavours like lime and chicken never went together in my house growing up. Then again, food and flavour never really went together, now that I think about it. Hmmm....

4th of July (A Little...or Lot....Late)

Here's a quick collage of pics I made from MK's photos of the Summer Crew hanging out in Park City over the 4th of July weekend.

Admittedly, I thought I'd have blogged about that weekend a few weeks ago, but much like everything in my life, it's been pushed aside until a later date. Since it's a little late to give a play-by-play of the weekend, I'll just touch on some of the highlights.

Sunday: As we traveled to Park City, S. and I decided to make a song on my PowerBook using GarageBand. Since I've never really used GarageBand, it was as good a time as any to learn the program. We ended up goofing around, and made a middle-eastern sounding tune, which we promptly named "S.'s Asian Erotica Mix."

When we got to the condo (which was really nice), we played some games, had some dinner, did a little wandering, and then goofed around the condo. Around 11 that night, a neighbor came over and asked us to be quiet. This was fine, except for the last sentence where she said, "or the next people that come over here will be the cops, rather than me." Since she'd just had a baby, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was the hormones affecting her, and she's not naturally such an incredulous bitch. Nah...she's a bitch! Learn some manners, and stop with the unwarranted threats, lady.

Monday (4th of July): Happy B-Day America! We set off in the morning in search of breakfast. Apparently, Park City residents take their national holidays very seriously, as hardly any restaurants were open. We went from restaurant to restaurant trying to find a place to eat. We finally found one, where they refused to make separate checks when we ordered. Um, excuse me, but I've worked food service, and know that it isn't any harder to do separate checks than it is to do one. And, the food was only mediocre...and expensive. My buckwheat pancakes tasted like ass after about 3 bites. Maple syrup drenched ass, but ass none the less. They also sat in my gut like a load of bricks for the rest of the day. I give buckwheat pancakes in Park City two emphatic thumbs down.

We then wandered around the town, goofing around. We even went to the old prison, which is where I think Martha Stewart should have served her swanky incarceration. I guess there's still hope Lil' Kim will come to her senses.

That night, we went across the street and experienced the joy of the fireworks. This experience was even more poignant as a rogue bottle rocket escaped and wizzed a few feet away from our heads. There's nothing like the threat of having an eye poked out to make fireworks that much more colorful... or the inside of your underwear.

There was also a lot of booze that night. I discovered that Southern Comfort and Coke tastes almost exactly like Nyquil when mixed together. It also messes you up pretty well. It was on this night that I got drunk for the first time in my life...and it was a doozy. Falling down in the street type drunk. Bawling on S.'s shoulder for a half hour type drunk. Never want to do that again type drunk.

Tuesday: We headed back to Pocatello in the morning, with a stop in downtown SLC for food. If you're ever in the mood for a good breakfast in SLC for a cheap price, and in a cool building complete with a miget-sized door for the servers, then head on over to Lamb's on Main. Yum! Even with a nasty foggy-headed hangover, it was pretty good.

I then went home and slept the rest of the day. *sigh* It was a crazy but exceptionally fun weekend.

The New Summer Crew

So, in case you're wondering who I've spent most of my time with this summer, it's with this group of folks. My New Summer Crew. I named them after this record I had as a kid, by people in animal costumes called the "New Zoo Review." It was hot.

This was taken the first night I met almost all of these people. I knew S. before then, and had met W., but was suddenly thrust into this group of dynamic, interesting people. And you know what? I love 'em! They're funkier than an 8th grade boy's PE locker, but we all get along so well. I'm just sad this summer's going by so fast.

Find the Wookie

S. was excited to show us his new Star Wars boxers a few weeks ago. Can you find the Wookie?

American Falls Idol

I wish I could sing karaoke.

I went to sing karaoke with some friends last night, and wanted to do it...but couldn't. I'm an okay singer, so that's not the problem. The problem is that I suffer from stage freight something terrible. I get all sweaty and suddenly have a weird form of psychosomatic asthma attack. My chest gets tight, and I can't breathe. It sucks!!

What drives me nuts is that I want to do it, but my body/mind won't let me. I was going to rock the Scissor Sisters' "Take Your Mama Out", but freaked out and couldn't do it. Trent decided to do it instead. He just stood there while he sang it. I would have at least shaken the booty a little bit, even if only a little. You can't sing Jake Shears and just stand there! So later, I was going to do George Michael's "Freedom 90", but again was deterred by sweaty palms and a lack of air.

Sadly, you can't be a power tenor and a coward at the same time.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Killer Hemorrhoids

I'm always amazed at the stuff you'll come across on the internet, and today's picture was no exception. Admittedly, an evil voice inside of me is concocting wicked plans to hang similar signs around Pocatello. Teehee!


A trail of blog links led me to the website of Chris Glass, and this crazy picture.

Projects worth doing

Every now and then, I get a fun video project at work. Today I got one of those projects.

I was editing a dance training video for the hip hop dance instructor at ISU. He's working on choreographing a music video, and needed some help editing the video to send to the music group. It wasn't the most exciting video (and was poorly shot to boot), but I had a grand time editing it together. It's always better to work on exciting stuff like that than converting pre-recorded lectures to streaming formats for the web. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz......those projects put me to sleep.

So, if anyone wants to learn the dance steps to the "Like Whoa" video by Tireen, I can now hook you up. Heck, I think I might have actually learned the dance after watching the steps about 30 times.

I'm going nuts...

I can't sit here anymore. I'm at work, and I just want to scream. It's not because of anything at work, for the first time in a really long time, but a ton of external things. I feel like I've got too many thoughts going on in my head, and they're all clammoring for space in there. A chorus of voices shouting for my attention, and I don't want to listen to any of them.

I'm just feeling funky, in a depressed sort of way. I feel so completely powerless about a number of things going on in my life right now. A friend asked last night if I was happier now with my life, after making some major changes, than I was a few years ago when I was fighting myself. I don't know. I'm not sure. At times I am, and at others, I'm eaten from the inside by a terrible grief/guilt that threatens to consume me.

London's burning. A friend's about to go into a potentially dangerous situation. Another friend might be in a suicidal funk, and has me worried. My sister's cracking up, and sends me weird emails, but won't talk to me in person or over the phone about the emails. She pretends that nothing's wrong, when I know that too much is.

Why did I get out of bed this morning?

I Need Some Moon Boots

I've got a lot to blog about my so-much-fun-it-should-be-criminal weekend, but I've wanted to do a photoblog. I know, Opsonic would pee his pants with shock, if he hadn't just got shipped out for Army duty. I mainly have Shawn to thank for lots and lots and lots and lots of pictures of Park City. Narry a celebrity in sight, but it was still a grand trip. Back to the point - I want to use Flickr for my photoblog capabilities, but of course they've waited until this week to update their server. Bland pics from Blandella will have to wait a little while.



So, while we all wait for Flickr to get their act together (I love a scapegoat!) I highly suggest that you listen to a new folk group called Without Gravity (thus, the cheesy moon boots reference.) Their song "Beautiful Son" is fantastic... beautiful guitars, thoughtful lyrics, heart-rending vocals, stunning musical arrangements. If I could write a song, I'd want it to be this one.

Wedding Bells

I just discovered that Opsonic got married! He didn't even tell me! No email...no phone call...no carrier pigeon. I'm upset.

Actually, I'm delighted for him. He and MadDog are one of the most unique, exciting, and loving couples I know. Good for them!

You can see their wedding photo here.

Kidnapped...

S. and W. kidnapped me last night, and took me to Blackfoot; aka Mini-Murderville USA. A few years ago, it had a higher homicide rate than Chicago, and that's for a town of about 5000 people.

S. wanted me to meet his friends that are up from California. They're sign language interpreters that are here to take a few summer classes at ISU. They were house sitting for a professor/friend in Blackfoot, and taking care of her two dogs, Max and Buddy. Buddy is obese, and is suffering from a bad back and hips. Max was in a car accident as a puppy, and lost one of his back legs. I don't think he's realized it yet though, so it didn't seem like such a bad thing.

If you're ever kidnapped and taken to Blackfoot, demand that your kidnappers take you to dinner at El Mirador like S. and W. did. They've got some great chile verde (and I loves me some good chile verde) and other food. I wanted to try the molcajete (Mexican stew - yummy!) but it cost quite a bit, and I felt bad since S. was paying.

In other news: I'm off to Park City, UT this holiday weekend with S., W., and the sign-language crew. We're going to stay in a condo there, and just hang out. It should be a lot of fun. I'm taking my digital camera, so if I spot any celebrities wandering around (even C-listers), I'll make sure to get some pics. Do celebs hang out at Park City if Sundance isn't going on? Guess we'll see...

Repressed Mormons

There are a lot of repressed Mormon kids where I live. A lot! They find themselves torn between the lives they want to lead, and the lives they are expected to lead. Usually, these lives are in complete contrast to each other. Molly Mormon wants to be Samantha Jones from Sex and the City, but instead is forced to lead a life of Kool-Aid Cosmos and WalMart fashion. Peter Priesthood wants to be James Bond, but instead is forced to lead a "dangerous" life of Mountain Dew and the occasional semi-scandalous American Eagle t-shirt.

One thing I'm always quick notice is the sexual repression. Trust me, there's nothing wrong with being an adult, and still being a virgin. Still being a virgin that whines about it constantly, and is always alluding to sexual situations is kind of lame. No, very lame. That's what I saw last night. I went with a friend to the going away party of this girl Megan. Megan is the typical Molly Mormon. Heck, she's even moving to Utah to wallow in all of the Utard glory. Anyway, she decided that we should play a game where we all write questions, and then take turns drawing them out of a hat and answering them. Okay...I'm game...but only for a short time. It was after the first round that I realized we were on a one way trip to Repressionville. "If you could have the best sex of your life, but it was with the ugliest person alive, would you do it?" "What's the sexiest part of another person's body?" "How many times have you had sex?" Blah, blah, blah...on and on it went.

It's the constant attention of the taboo that gets to me. If you want to have sex, do it, but be willing to deal with the consequences. If you're saving yourself for social or religious regions, good for you...just shut the hell up about it. The very thing you've been putting off has become a sick obsession, and to be frank, it's very repulsive. This, in turn, will help ensure that you won't get laid, and thus, reinforce your obsession. Welcome to the grand cycle of repression.

Under Pressure

"Pressure...pushing down on me..."

I've had an odd blog block for the past few weeks. So much is going on in my life over the past month, that I can't process it. When I can't process it, I can't write about it. I haven't been able to find the therapeutic value of writing at this point in my life, but it sure would be nice to discover.

Things are official with England in September. I'll be there for 9 months. I'm excited, then terrified, then nauseus, and then the cycle starts all over. I thought my parents would be fairly okay with my decision, but they flipped out. I'm 28, and I still worry about what they think.

I feel like I've got so much on my plate right now, and I've gotten a sudden case of Lindsay Lohan anorexia. Can't eat! Too much! Blech!!!

Gallery of the Absurd

I seem to be full of shout outs today, so I need to plug The Gallery of the Absurd. This is what I would like to do, assuming I ever had A) time and B) talent and C) initiative. Lacking any of those three, let alone all three, condemns you to a life of mediocrity. I'm learning to deal.

In the meantime, visit someone that is the antithesis of me! Go to The Gallery of the Absurd, where you can see great images such as this one.

Best. Gossip. Ever.

I came across a great blog a couple of weeks ago, but keep forgetting to give it a plug here. I literally visit this site every day, because it's always getting updated with new, juicy, celebrity gossip (and would we love any other kind?)

So, a big shout out to Trent at Pink is the New Blog!

Jane Austen

Laird's comment on the last post made me think of old phrases, such as "pray tell" that just aren't used very much anymore, or who's definitions have changed dramatically. So, I'll dedicate this post to two Jane Austen phrases that aren't used the same way anymore.

Make Love: to flirt with, show affection towards, or even brown nose. Used in most Austen books, but the funniest time is when it's used by the father in Pride and Prejudice about a visiting man. "He'll flounce, and smirk, and make love to us all." Something to that effect. I sniggered when I read it, because that phrase has definitely changed.

Ejaculate: This is a loud, uncontrolled exclamation. Used in most Austen books, but one time it caught me off guard is in Mansfield Park for an argument between Fanny and Edward. Edward gets upset and "ejaculated at Fanny." Whew! Today, he'd go to jail for a number of years, and have to register with the local police department for the rest of his life.

So, here are some ways that normal phrases have changed to become sexual in our time. I entreat all of you to read some Jane Austen books, and see if you can find other examples. I highly recommend Pride and Prejudice and Emma, although they're all great reads.

Hello Lover

I bumped into an old lover this week. At first it was a little awkward, because we hadn't seen each other in almost a year. We used to get along so well, and know each other even better. We spent so much time together that it was almost obscene. We were the perfect compliments to each other, and our love was a thing of epic proportions. We made sweet, sweet love to each other most of last summer, and then never bothered seeing each other during the school year. I was to blame for that one.

Okay, you caught me! It was a book. I'm in love with reading! (Although I don't think this blog entry will ever make a literacy campaign poster...it really should. Let's give the people what they want!)

I don't ususally have time to read for pleasure during the school year. Okay, maybe I do...but I choose not to. And no, my time is not spent reading text books. Hell, I don't even buy the text books...waste of money. Anyway...I picked up a book a couple of days ago. This was the first time since last summer that I'd read something just because I could...and I LOVED it! It was great! I just can't get enough of it! I want more, more, more! I can't wait until lunch when I can run home and read more. (A little literature "afternoon delight.")

Oh literacy, I have missed you!

Running Critical Updates...

Wow...almost a month since an update. That's bad. I thought I'd have all of this free time during the summer to get a bunch of stuff done, but that hasn't been the case at all. I go to bed extremely late, get up early...drink a lot of coffee to survive. Don't get paperwork done that's extremely important. Don't blog. Don't blink...it's all going so fast.

Rick VS. England: Yep. I'm outta here. Off to Plymouth, England for a semester this fall. They don't start classes until September, so maybe I can fit a breather in there somewhere. My sister's going to go over with me, and we'll tour the UK for 10 days before classes start. I'm looking forward to it, but a little scared at the same time. I'm mainly just worried about money. The dollar is total **** right now compared to the pound.

Rick VS. US Gov't: The Army called Opsonic back to active duty. Bastards. He's a shining star, and I worry about his future. Probably almost more than my own, but that's okay. I hope MadDog is okay. I hope Opsonic is okay. I hope Bush gets gang raped by ugly Muslims on a sexual Jihad. Uber-bastard.

Rick VS. Work: Willow summed it up best as an evil vampire with "bored now." Monotony breeds contempt. I ooze contempt right now. Blah. Rage against the machine, indeed.

Rick VS. Utards: I will be attending the Utah Scottish Festival and Highland Games this weekend. Woot! I had to miss it last year because of a wedding, and it still chafes like wet leather pants. I shall not be daunted this year though. Wicked Tinkers, here I come!

Rick VS. Romance: ??? Yeah right, like I'm going to talk about that here.

Rick VS. Bloc Party: Get this CD. Now. Bitch. Do it. One of the most interesting and original albums I've heard in a while. Rock on you funky British boys!

Rick VS. YOU! Feel free to comment, and let me know people still actually read this.

Hooked on Phonics

I discovered yesterday afternoon that RealMedia has the new Stereophonics album available to be streamed for a limited time. Not just 30 second samples, but the full album, "Language. Sex. Violence. Other?"

The album is worth it for Dakota alone, but the rest is equally amazing. (You must have RealPlayer installed for the song to work.)

A Fitting Haiku:

Wow, three posts in one day. Any readers I may have left (I'm pretty sure they ran away long, long ago) may now rejoice or cower in fear, as it is either Christmas, or a sign of the Apocalypse.

Here's a haiku I just found on the web. I'm sure it was written about me.

Hidden under my

Faux-hawk is a heart of mush -

What if someone sees?

Yep. It's all about me.
Thanks to Joel Derfner

My Momma Said...

I went to dinner last night with my mom. Usually it's not that big of a deal, because I just sit and listen to her gossip about her co-workers and my sisters. But last night was different. She decided she needed to be more involved with my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I do like my mom, but there are some good reasons that I've kept her uninvolved from my life. She's got major control issues. Maybe not issues...more like a whole subscription.

Anyway, she really made me mad last night. I'll list the reasons. First, she showed up almost an hour later than she said she would. I can understand if she was going to be late, but maybe she could finally figure out how to use her cell phone, and give me a call to let me know.

Second, at dinner, she kept telling me that there's some stupid girl she works with that she wants to set me up with. Couldn't sniff a clue that I WAS NOT interested. She then went on to whine that I'm "not giving her any grandkids." *sniff, sob* Aren't the 9 you have right now enough? If you're that desperate for love and affection, adopt a Chinese baby or something, but leave me alone. I'm not about to ruin my life so you can have more grandkids.

Third, she went on to announce that I will be spending the 4th of July weekend with her and my father, and that I am in charge of planning the itinerary. Actually, I already have plans that weekend, and they don't involve family or itineraries. I don't want to go to Glacier Park or San Francisco (WTF?!?) just because it's a three-day weekend. Besides, my family and vacations go together like alcoholics and open bars...the co-dependent relationships are killer.

Finally, she has also decided that I won't get a job after I graduate, so I need to hurry and switch majors. Yeah. Great idea. I have 15 credits to graduate, so now would be a perfect time to switch majors. I think she's just pissed off because I told her I won't move to Boise. Besides the fact that I just don't like Boise, there's too much family drama there now. I don't need to add myself to the mix, especially if my parents move there like they keep talking about.

So, in the space of two hours, she managed to completely piss me off. I manage to do a fine job of messing up my life on my own, I don't need someone else telling me what to do. Sheesh! I feel like I'm 5 again, but with a better defined sense of frustration.

Blog Blocked

I haven't blogged since last Thursday, mainly because I can't think of anything to write. With school being done, I'm finding less to talk about. There's a lot I could say about work right now, but since I don't want to get dooced, I'll refrain from telling all about my office.

In Wacky News in Rick's Life, I once again saw a gruesome animal mutilation. This time, it was in the form of a dog's head on the interstate as I drove to Idaho Falls. No body, just the head. Poor puppy.

I downloaded Amerie's "1 Thing" last night, and got the new version with Eve. It was after I downloaded it that I found I got the short version. If only I'd paid more attention to iTunes store, I could have had an extra 30 seconds of song. Live and learn, I guess. Even though I got the short version, I still highly recommend the song.

Feeling like a Thursday Morning

I took my last final this morning at 7:30. It was the Spanish final. It didn't go as poorly as I was predicting, but I definitely should have spent more time studying for it. Only about an hour was not enough. I've convinced myself that it wasn't really my fault, because I was a victim of a system that pits all of my finals up against each other. How can I study for Spanish when I've got other finals to study for? How can I study for Spanish when I'm burned out from other exams? See, it's all in how you justify these things to yourself. I'm a master justifier, which I'm not sure is a real word, but I will use it anyway. I am the anti-Dr. Laura!

I went home and watched some daytime television after the Spanish final. Watched some "Cosby Show." Man, that was a good show. However, it all went downhill after Cosby was over. Daytime television is the biggest bunch of snively crap! As if the content of the whiney "My man just plays videogames" talk shows isn't bad enough, every commercial is directed towards people with major issues. Morbidly obese, bad credit, anxiety attacks, adult ADD, low self esteem...you name it, there's a commercial for it. Each commercial offers a quick fix. Here's my quick fix. Stop watching daytime televison! Get a job! Do something with your life! Don't sit on your ass watching Marcia whine that Jimmy won't support her and their 3 kids...go support yourself and your kids.

Whew! I'm bitchy! Oh crap! Maybe I'm Dr. Laura after all! Worse yet, with all of these hideous contradictions in what I say, and complete lack of empathy, maybe I'm Ann Coulter! NOOOOOO! If you'll please excuse me, I suddenly feel anorexic now. I'll be in the bathroom puking and making up lies if you need me.

Finals Week...

I'm brain dead. I'm just finishing my final projects for Photoshop class tonight (this morning?), and I have to be back in 6 hours to present my final pictures. I made faux magazine covers, a la "Teen Bear Magazine." Thanks for the idea Tony.

I can't wait until finals are over. I have my last one at 7:30am on Thursday, which is a comprehensive Spanish final. As I've stated before, Espanol isn't going so hot. I still think that whoever invented 7:30 finals needs dragged out into the street and beaten like a pinata until candy comes out...no matter how long it takes.

So, good luck on your finals, if you're going through that hell at the moment!

Re: Bachelors and Pigs

Yesterday was not like I thought it would be.

The bachelor party got scrapped because about half the people that were supposed to go couldn't. Setting the party for college students the weekend before finals wasn't a great idea. I'm not even in marketing, and I could have told them that. At least I can put off tool purchases for a month or so.

Since this left me free, I should have been able to go get some pig at the pig roast. Instead, I had to wait for J. to get off work from euthanising dogs at the pet shelter, because he was the only one who knew where we were going. Too bad he forgot to inform me he didn't get off work until 8pm! Then, we were supposed to wait for S, who never showed up, so we left an hour late. Apparently S. was hooking up with some trick he met over the internet. Classy. When we showed up at 9pm, the pig was gone, except for some leftovers in baggies. I opted for carrot cake instead. Note to self: Carrot cake + cheap beer = disgusting. I then got stuck babysitting a drunk undergrad who thought I was his best friend. Hooray. The pig roast fiesta of the century was not everything it was purported to be.

I knew I should have just stayed home and watched "Firefly" instead. But then I would have missed out on Idaho Nachos at Papa Paul's at 2am, and more of K's stories about what homeless men will do for beer in Salt Lake City.

Feel Good Inc.

I'm an early adopter!!! Yay! I've never been one before, and now I can revel in what tiny bit of glory I can find!

I've been listening to the new Gorillaz song a lot lately, "Feel Good Inc." and watching the incredible video. Then, low and behold, I'm watching "Desperate Housewives" tonight, and there's a new iPod commercial...playing my song!

Yes, my life really is this sad.

Bachelor Parties and Pig Roasts

I don't want to go out tonight...but I'm obligated. I have to go to a bachelor party for my friend Andy in a few hours, but I don't want to. I also have to go buy him tools at Sears before I go. I'm not sure who started the tradition of having tool bachelor parties, but I'd like to smash their mouth with a monkeywrench. I'm tired of buying people stuff just because they're getting married. Someone should buy me gifts because I clipped my toenails this morning. Hey, they're equally silly reasons to get someone gifts.

I'm also supposed to go to the Anthropology Department's annual pig roast tonight, after the bachelor party (well, actually during the bachelor party...which got sprung on me last weekend...and I'm not happy.) Anyway, the Anthro club went all out, and has been roasting a whole pig in a buried fire pit since midnight last night. It sounds completely unsanitary to me, but I'm willing to give it a try.

Problem is, I don't want to do anything tonight. I'd much rather just lay on my couch and watch the "Firefly" DVDs. What a great show! Unfortunately, most people don't applaud my decisions to forego human contact for DVD watching.

Sorry, just had to whine.

I Hate Decisions

Just when I thought I'd figured out a thing or two, my life's suddenly not making any sense at all.

First, I discovered that I didn't get the job I applied for. The news was broken to me by my boss, who thought I had been told at that point. It wasn't the greatest way to hear about it, since he was assuming I knew. I have a lot I could say about not getting this position, but for the sake of propriety, I'll keep my big mouth shut (or fingers from typing...as is the case.)

Then, this morning, I had to visit the Study Abroad office to tell them that I was turning down my acceptance at Napier University in Edinburgh, Scotland next year. It was going to cost me $19,000 for the year (for the minimum of room/board/tuition) and then they screwed me over on classes. I sent them a huge list of classes I could take over there. They then accepted me based on those classes, and then sent me an email telling me I couldn't take any of the classes I wanted, but only journalism classes they had chose for me. Um, no thanks.

So, feeling like Life had officially spit in my eye or flipped me the bird, I came to work with a sad resignation in my heart. I then opened my email to find a letter from the woman in charge of British study abroad for the group my university works through. She told me there's an opening for me to go to Plymouth, England next year, and pay the same tuition I would if I was here at ISU. They also have some good looking classes. The international experience would make my resume look incredibly good. I'd be in England!!! (Total Anglophile here!)

Oh man! I hate making decisions! I'm so indecisive that I sometimes don't eat dinner because I can't decide what to eat! I spend up to two hours in the video store picking out a DVD, and I think there's something wrong with the fact it takes longer to find a DVD than it does to watch it. I'm a mess. I'm also taking advice. Polls are open.

Cruising with Prof. W.

Today's been interesting already, and it's not even 1pm yet. The morning started with Spanish class, where I discovered that I got a 95% on the test I thought I had flunked! Hooray! I'm not as bilingually challenged as I had previously thought. However, I did come to realize that skipping Tuesday's class and not learning about indirect object pronouns for a little bit more sleep was not a good idea.

Anyway, back to the subject. I was hanging out with Prof. W. this morning after class, and we were talking about a film school that's supposed to be starting here in Idaho. I noticed that it was for "family films" (eg. Mormon approved...let's call it what it is people). Then, we discussed how the chair of our department felt threatened and was blowing smoke up others' butts about starting a film school here. It's not going to happen. Then we got talking of rumors about the chair (getting the dirt can be quite satisfying.)

There's a rumor that the chair had put his house up for sale, because he wants to leave the school. Since W. and I had nothing better to do, we went for a drive to see if it was true. Went to the house. No for sale sign. We were depressed. Got stuck waiting for a train to cross in front of us. Talked. Found out more about my program in 15 minutes than I had in the last year. Got back to school. Talked to T.'s live-in girlfriend, and found out the rumor was true. Rejoiced.

It's funny having personal relationships with your professors. It's nice, but it feels like you're crossing some professional boundary at the same time. I'm also learning there's a lot of politics involved with higher education.

That Makes Me Mad...

Juan posted an open letter to a nasty flight attendant on Boozhy. I agree that Juan was a victim of complete stupidity disguised under the banner of religious correctness (the new political correctness turned on its ear.) Go read Juan's Open Letter to see what I'm talking about.

Here's a response I wrote in an online class discussion about regulation of tv content. Nearly everyone in my class felt that tv needed to be moderated with a heavy hand, because things "are getting out of hand!" Anyway, here's my response:

All hail the new American Taliban!!! May your oppression be swift and complete, and your wife's burka cover all but her eyes!! May the Devil be stopped at all costs! It is up to us, fellow American Taliban, to stop the Devil's favorite tool, the television!! He will destroy you, your family, and all that Sheik Bush holds in highest regard. I declare a Jihad! We must take control, so that life will pass as we declare it!

Okay, I'm only half kidding this time, and yes, I hope this does cheese people off. Regulation of content is just a classier way of saying censorship. I'm not sure if I'm a conservative liberal, or a liberal conservative, but I know that I'm against content regulation. The problem is that it's a double-edged sword that will always swing back to cut you in twain. Life is not Burger King, and you can't always have it your way. There are people that would never be satisfied with any amount of regulation, even if we were to make the Taliban look like the producers of Sex and the City. Today's vocal minority will seemingly become tomorrow's moral majority, causing today's sacred cow to become tomorrow's scapegoat. No one's ever content, but they all think they should have the final say in what happens in society.

Furthermore, I'm not sure why you people keep resurrecting the myth that life was so much more classy and morally upstanding in years past. This isn't true, and it has NEVER happened. Every era's had its own flaws, including the mythical fantastic 50's. All you have to do is read a history book, a sociology book, or do a little research to find that we are NOT the most depraved society in the history of mankind, like many espouse today. Take a look at the Greeks, Babylonians, Persians, or Aztecs to see that there are things they did that still leave us aghast.

So, if you think that we should regulate content, just remember that what you hold dear may soon be fodder for regulation in the future. Like the old adage says, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

On Being Seduced...

I always swore that I wouldn't get into the music downloading hype. Nope. Not for this guy. While I do want an iPod really bad (and wouldn't mind a reader sending me one), I thought I'd always be a brick-and-mortar CD ripping fool. I worried about the stability of the electronic CD. After all, something that's there...but not there, can't really be trusted, can it?

So, much to my surprise, I opened iTunes this afternoon to check out some songs, and realized I've purchased 45 songs off the store already! This is after only having my Powerbook for less than 2 months, and having no money! Admittedly, most of the songs have come from free downloads, either those free from the store, or from Pepsi caps. But recently, I've started buying albums from iTunes. I know I'm going to buy Aimee Man's new one, and Ryan Adam's "Cold Roses" off iTunes when they come out.

So, iTunes has seduced me. It tells me I'm gorgeous, and beautiful. It never tells me I should do something with my hair, or should go to the gym. We never fight. I love you iTunes. You're so good to me.

That's disgusting!

As I was walking down the road this morning on my way to the Spanish lab (a point of contention in my life currently), I saw a box on a guy I know's lawn. My curiosity got the best of me when I saw that there was a cat's tail sticking out of the box. I thought to myself, "Aww! Kitty's sleeping in the box!" and wanted to see the sleeping fuzz ball. As I looked into the box, I felt that I'd been transported to the set of a Rob Zombie movie. Inside the box was kitty, but in two distinct halves!!!!! Freaking gross!!! Since my mouth was full of bagel at the time, I came extremely close to vomiting. The gag reflex started to kick in, and I ran for it.

I ran to the Spanish lab, where I watched "The Lion King" and "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" in Espanol. I have learned that anything cool about cartoons does not translate into Spanish for some reason. Perhaps that reason was the fact that I was sitting in a hard plastic seat for three hours, but it is a reason.

On the way home, the box of cat had been moved from next to the sidewalk to near the house. Since I could see the tail of Rob Zombie (as I have now dubbed the dead cat), I knew it was in there still. What broke my heart was that there was a matching kitty sitting beside the box meowing. Poor kitty, may you get past your loss.

OPSonic

I've learned that if you whine long enough, you can get whatever you want in life. I've got years of experience as the youngest child, and the only son. Just ask my sisters...they'll tell you.

Anyway, I've been whining at my friend to start a blog since I started one. He finally broke down, and has been blogging for a week. So, go visit OPSonic's blog and tell him you love him. Tell him he should buy me the new Aimee Mann CD while you're at it.

PS - He's not as gay as the picture at the very bottom of his blog would imply. You have to read the description.

Ahhh...what a day!

Let me just start by saying I haven't blogged all week, because it has been a thoroughly craptastic week. 8 page English paper due Monday, news package and interview due Tuesday, 8 page Mass Communication paper due Wednesday, and today... I most likely flunked a Spanish test this morning, and have a job intervew this afternooon.

I was doing extremely well in Spanish until two weeks ago. I had a 96% in the class, and then messed up on the last test. I got a 70, and it blew all my bilingual confidence. Yo soy estupido hoy! Today's test was horrible. I read sentences where I only recognized articles like the, a, an...but no real words! I just hope I did better than I thought.

I have the job interview in an hour and a half. It's going to be a group interview with 4 managers of the University department I want to work in. I was telling a friend last night about the interview, and someone thought I said I was going to be involved in a gang bang! Not sure why they thought that, but my friend responded that it was fairly similar.

I also had a friend walk by this morning and just shove a burned CD into my hand. It wasn't until I got home that I realized it's the new Weezer CD that's going to be released in two weeks! The marvels of the internet! I'll have to give it a listen, and see if it's worth it. I doubt it'll be as good as the new Aimee Mann or new Ryan Adams. Nothings as good as those two artists.

What a Drag!

I went to the 9th annual ISU drag queen show last night. Diva IX: Allure. It was actually a lot of fun. Sadly, I was around for the second annual Diva show, so it made me hyper aware of how long I've been around the university here.

I had to laugh at parts of the show. Only in Pocatello would the pre-show talent, a group of Queens from the neighboring indian reservation, not be allowed to perform...because they all got arrested the night before! There were rumors of paint sniffing violations...but I'll leave that for the non-PC rumorville. There was also the moment when I realized 3 of the 7 drag queens worked at the McDonalds across from the university. How odd. However, my comment of them being "Burger Queens" was not appreciated by the people I was with. Oh well, it made me laugh. Their loss. I also laughed when one of the Burger Queens almost fell, after her heel got caught between the stairs and the stage. That's what she gets for always skanking me when I get food at McDonalds. PS, bitch, you're a little too fat to be wearing the see through lace outfit you did. Blech!

I also realized that I knew one of the drag queens personally. He's the brother of a girl I used to be friends with. I got to meet his boyfriend, who unfortunately shares the name of a brand of cheap liquor, and catch up on how his family was doing. Life can be so interesting at times.

So, that's my report on the drag show. For Blandella News, this is Rick ****** reporting.

Open Letter to My Landlords' Cat...

Hey cat,

You're really getting on my nerves. It's not bad enough that you always try to sneak into my apartment, but now you sit outside my door and howl to be let in. I knew I shouldn't have let you in last week, but I thought you might catch the mouse in the storage room. Now you think I'm your best friend, and I'm not. Besides, I know it was you who pooped in the entry way, and made it reek. Nice job, fuzzy butt.

I'm also not going to pet you anymore. I'm tired of you trying to claw me after I pet you for about 30 seconds. Also, you reached an all-time low when you tried to bite me the other day! Bad cat! Naughty cat! I don't know where your furry mouth has been!

So, I'm cutting you out of my life. Now, when you're locked outside at night...you're staying out. Hey, you brought all of this on yourself.

Rick

PS - Tell that bitchy black sister of yours to stop hissing at me.